Hi Kel, it's really is hard to lose weight. But you've made the right steps. It sounds to me like you need the motivation and the will power more than the education, is that right? It's really important to set yourself some goals and make sure they have a time frame. Make them specific so not "tone up" or "lose weight" but, "lose XKG by X months". As for will power, thats a hard one because it is you and only you that can control it. You can make it easier for yourself by not buying naughty food and asking DH and others not to have it around you, but ultimatly it's down to you. A few years ago I read "Awaken the Giant Within" by Anthony Robbins, I don't know if you have a copy but he said something about choices that really stuck with me - I can't remember it exactly and i'll try anf dig it out but it went along the lines of...making a choice is hard but once you've made the choice, it's easy. So deciding to lose weight and get fit is difficult, you make all kinds of excuses and reasons not to do it. But once you make the choice it becomes easy, you don't give yourself any other option. Say to yourself "I am going to lose weight and I am going to do it like this...." and then when you find yourself faltering you just have to think back to the choice you made and there it is!
Diet and exercise have to go hand in hand to help you lose weight, yes you can lose weight if you diet but don't exercise and yes you can lose weight if you exercise and don't diet, but it's the two working together to create a new, healthy lifestyle that malke the changes you need to see to keep the weight off. Like Maz and Fionas said try and increase your incidental exercies (walk up the stairs, don't take the lift) as well as going for walks, buy some weights and work out at home, do an exercise dvd. Everything helps.
Also what Fionas said about alcohol is soooo true! I don't know if you drink much but I have to work hard to stay at the weight/shape I am now and even if I add in a glass of wine a night I put on weight straight away. The reason is becasue there are only 4 ways your body can create energy. From Carbs, Protein, Fat and Alcohol. Usually you're body will use predominantly Fat when you're pottering around the house or doing low intensity exercise. Then Carbs as the need for more energy increases. However the body can create energy from alcohol very easily so if you have alcohol in your system THAT is what is going to be burned off. So you can imagine the fat and carbs that are left sitting there waiting to get stored becasue they are not being utilised
Good luck with everything, it's hard but I think you'll find that once you start an exercise/weight loss program with conviction, you'll find the strength to stick with it!
Maz, I'm only just squeezing into my clothes at the moment. I only have a few things I feel comfy in but I refuse to buy a bigger size!
I find it hard to get the motivation to go for a walk. I live in a unit on the 3rd floor. It's such a PITA to get the kids up and down the stairs, but that's just an excuse I guess. Lugging them up and down is good exercise! I'm still bf'ing DS too, so shakes and drastic cuts to my diet are out at the moment, which I have been using as an excuse too. But I can eat healthily. It's actually better for him if I do!
Fiona, of course your advice counts! Thankyou. I know the gist of weightloss is so simple, that's what gets me! Calories in should equal or surpass calories out...simple right??!! But it's the emotional thing that's my biggest problem. It's not social or anything for me. I eat when stressed, upset, to feel better, to celebrate....whatever!
I don't drink alot cause I am bf'ing. I might have one every fortnight or so, so that's no biggy at the mo. Even when not bf'ing I don't often drink much anyhow. My problem is sweets. Any kind of sweet stuff, bickies, chocolate, cakes, whatever! I don't buy it in the shopping, but we live 5mins from the shops so I will just go down there and get stuff, or DH will. He's a big enabler for me. He thinks he's helping cause he's doing something for me to make me happy, but it's only in the NOW that it makes me happy not tomorrow or tomorrow or tomorrow....
CQ, you're right that I know enough about eating and exercise to lose weight. I know what I'm doing werong, I know what I should change. But you're also right in that it's so hard. I have written goals out, but I think I might need to clarify them and maybe simplify and focus on the shorter term for now. Not look at the whole 20kgs I want to lose, but maybe only 5kgs at first. Break the 80kg mark!
I haven't read Anthony Robbins, though I have heard of him and he seems to be a great motivational speaker. I might see if the library has the book. I'm reading The Secret at the moment (albeit VERY slowly! Cause I hardly have the time) which is kinda similar in saying that if you think positive and put into words what you do want, not what you don't want, then it will come to you. I tend to be a bit of a negative nelly at times, looking at what I don't want (ie I don't want to be fat, don't want to be a bad role model for Lily...) maybe that's where I'm going wrong, lol!
Thankyou for your faith!
Kel - I was soooooooo surprised when I did start counting the calories to see how much I was really having. It was WWWWWAAAAAAAYYYYYYY too much. Have you joined calorie king? they have almost every brand in the diary so no hard work about it, and it does all the adding up for you
Kel- Have you been to see your GP? I went to see mine, and it was something she said that finally kicked my butt into action, and it was long the same lines as what you said. She told me that even with the best intentions, and doing all the right things for your kids, they are going to do what you do and not what you say. That was enough for me to realise I never ever want my children to go through what I have been through with my struggle with weight.
Also I dont know if it is the same in all states, by my GP was put me on some sort of medical plan that entitled me to 5 visits to the dietician and I think each visit cost me about $2 out of pocket, I had to pay up front but was then able to claim it back from medicare, and it is meant for people who have a BMI which classes them in the obese category.
As for excercise, borrow an aerobics DVD from the library or buy a skipping rope, nice and cheap and stuff you can do at home. I have resigned myself to the fact that I need to be out of the hosue for my excercise by 6am or it isnt going to happen, so I set out my clothes the night before and second my alarm goes off I get up, get dressed and get out hte house before I have a chance to change my mind. I like the early mornings as it gives me a chance to put in my head phones and have a bit of me time, while DH and the kids are still sleeping.
As for treats etc, I just dont buy junk to have in the house, if it isnt here I can't eat it. I try and make asmuch of the snack for my kids from scratch as we need them, so I dont have tempting things sitting around in the house.
Like some of the others have said, I am a long way from my goal, but this time I have decided that failing is not an option, it is not ok for me to continue along the way I have been and mostly I have decided that I can actualley achieve what I have set out to achieve because I believe in me.
Good luck with it all, and remember you may only loose a couple of kilos in a month or 10 kilos in a year, but by doing nothing those months or that year is going to pass by anyway and you will still be the same weight and you will still be unhappy with yourself.
I lost 10kgs to get into my wedding dress in 2005 and it was really hard. I had serious motivation...the dress was there and I just KNEW that my mother and sister didn't think I would be able to do it so I had a bit of an axe to grind as well. My sister had always been the thin one and proud of it. My mum had once informed me that I took after her mother (my grandmother had a huge bum) and then added that she was like her father. So what are you saying Mum???? But anyway.
It was a real eye opener. The biggest thing I learnt was that it wasn't hard to eat right, or to exercise. What was hard was doing that every day, week in, week out, even when I didn't feel like it was working. The hardest thing for me to learn was consistency. Previously I had been very good at shortlived heroic efforts to lose weight that were never successful. I had always taken an "all or nothing" approach.
It took me 17 weeks to lose 10kgs but, really, with all my stopping and starting, it really took me about 5 years, IYKWIM. That is ridiculous. If I had have been a bit easier on myself I would have been at my goal weight years earlier and not had the stress of worrying about what I would do if the dress didn't fit.
So this was my slow and steady and ultimately very successful approach:
Some days when I didn't feel like exercising, I just went for a half hour walk. I wouldn't even bother pushing myself if I didn't feel like it. That was all. That helped me feel like I had done something and kept me from feeling guilty and thinking, oh WTF I'll have some chocolate/pizza/fish and chips/cake etc and beating myself up for not having exercised.
I also did not have anything bad in the house. If I wanted it I had to get off my bum and go out and buy it which helped stop me from eating a lot of rubbish I would have done otherwise. And...I would ask myself if I would be angry with myself after eating it. If the answer was yes, I wouldn't do it. I would often have a cup of sweet tea and then decide if I still wanted the treat. More often than not, I wouldn't.
You don't have to have a super duper exercise program or strict diet. You have to make the right choices foodwise and just do SOME kind of movement every day that is extra to what you would normally do and KEEP DOING IT. For weeks and weeks, until you get there. Even when the scales haven't budged for a couple of weeks. I found that when that happened, if I just waited a bit longer and kept going I would be pleasantly surprised by a sudden larger drop.
I lost my weight by walking. Some days I would walk for over an hour and a half. Other days it was only a 30 minute stroll (and I DO mean stroll lol). I did whatever I felt capable of that day. I also did some toning exercises with dumbbells at home 2 or 3 times a week - took me about 30 minutes and not too strenuous. I know myself well enough that if I wasn't enjoying it and I was finding it hard I wouldn't keep it up. Sure I could have put in more effort and probably gotten results faster but it wad highly unlikely I would have maintained the momentum long enough to get the results I got by going slower. I hope that makes sense.
In terms of food, I just kept an eye on my portion sizes and ate till I felt satisfied, not full. And I tried to stay away from processed food, so whole grains, meat and fruit and veg, and full fat dairy. I personally don't believe in low fat dairy, I don't like thinking about what they have put back into it to make it taste like full fat. I would rather have the extra calories and the product closer to its original form.
I hope you find something there that helps you. Be the tortoise, not the hare.
hi lilas what has worked for me this time was setting lots of mini goals the first was getting under 80kg then getting to 5% weight loss then my pre dd2 weight then my pre dd1 weight, they were 2-5kg goals that have made it so much easier. Instead of thinking I have to lose 13kg and getting no where I kept hitting my mini goals and feeling like I had accomplished something and that gave me a boost to keep going. I have now lost 9kg since having dd2.
Before falling pregnant with DD1 I lost over 21kgs (I had about 33 to lose). What did it for me then was going to donate blood and having to weigh myself. I was 99kg and totally shocked, I decided that I could not let myself get over that figure. I went home and actually looked at myself in the mirror. It was like I was looking at myself for the first time, I was disgusted with myself and angry that I had let myself get that way. I realised for years that I had stopped really looking at myself. I would look enough to make sure my makeup was ok, my clothes were neat and my hair reasonable. I was looking, but not really seeing me.
DH was overweight as well and also wanted to do something about it. Together we worked out what we were happy to do to lose weight. We made the decision to start on the next Monday so we could prepare ourselves and our kitchen. We went shopping for the right foods and on the Sunday night we did a clear out. All the foods we were no longer eating were gone. I really feel that starting that way helped us a lot. I had also found a good forum that supported me in the way we were eating, sharing tips, stories etc. Made me feel less alone.
A couple of the girls I worked beside were also watching their weight, even though we were doing different things, we still supported each other. Well to an extent, one girl went overboard and all her prying into what I was eating tipped me over the edge. It was good to have people to stand back with when the birthdays cakes came out and someone there to encourage me to get out and walk or go to the gym in my lunch break.
Well I am back to losing weight again after having the girls, have lost 7kg so far. It is so different now to what it was before kids. DH is not as supportive, even though he needs to lose weight again, but he has other stresses at the moment. The girls have their own needs. Have got some workout DVD's but have not pulled them out yet and I fall off the wagon all the time with food. It is easier when there just is no bread in the house, but the others eat it so it is there tempting me when I feel tired and lazy. I have to stop eating DD1's crusts that she leaves behind.
For me I know that breads, pastas etc are just not good for me. I am terrible with them, I will eat just them and they make me so hungry. So if I cut them out, I eat more salads, veg etc and don't feel the strong hunger pangs. So I would recommend finding out what your trigger food or foods are, the ones that make you hungry or cause you to snack. Also prepare yourself, have snacks or meals as backups for when you are tired/busy/etc. Look up recipes that can easily be modified to suit you and your family. Just remember to still keep some treat that makes you feel less deprived, mine is good quality dark chocolate.
I had lapband surgery, but while it helped with my hunger and my portion control, learning new habits was something I had to do on my own.
My first hurdle was accepting that I have to exercise to be healthy and fit. Not necessarily to lose weight, because I think attaching exercise to weight loss de-motivates you in the long run. I had to accept that I had to make time to exercise, to not allow any excuse that prevented me from exercising, and to make it a part of my life, like showering, or eating, or washing up. It's not negotiable.
Hurdles? I study and work full time and I have a family, including a young child. So I bought a spin bike cheap over the internet, come home from work, cook and clean, put my baby to bed at 8.30pm, cycle like a demon for 40 mins, then study. I cycle every Tues, Thurs and one day on the weekend. If I miss one session, I owe the bike that session, and have to make up for it. I hardly ever miss a session. I just do it. It's not pleasant but neither is cooking or cleaning, but I do that too, all the time, and will for the rest of my life. This is no different.
So in that respect, I have worked around my family.
BUT I also make time for me. My needs are important, and I need the freedom to do the things I need to do for me - be it exercising, or buying the 'right' foods, or refusing to get pizza for dinner even though everyone else in the house wants it. If I want to be the best person I can be as an example to my kids, I have to also teach them to learn to prioritise their needs, and not constantly make their needs secondary to other people's needs.
I think as mothers, we teach our daughters espeically that their needs aren't as important as other people's (especially men's needs) when we treat our own needs as unimportant in comparison to our husband's. I don't think that's the right message to give our kids.
And in the scheme of things, making time for me benefits my family. I only spend 120mins a week on 'structured' exercise. That's nothing - only 3 hours in a week of 168 hours. Who isn't able to spare that? In return, I can play footy with my 14yo, or run around the backyard with my 3yo, and have a better quality of life in general. The other stuff I do also translates into good news for my family in the long run too (like less pizza and more fresh foods), so having some focus on 'me' means good things for them too!
So if you take your life and find the positives in changing it so that it's healthier for you, you will find the motivation to get there in the end. It's when people look at exercise and healthy eating as a chore, or difficult, or self-indulgent (eg: it's only for me that I want to lose weight) that they lose motivation, because I think women are hard-wired into thinking that when things are busy, the first thing that gives is your needs. If you see it as better not just for you, but better for your family as a whole, and will help you ALL live a better quality of life, it stops being a chore, or being hard to achieve.
Good luck, matey. I don't know if I made any sense. I hope I did.
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