Donor Conception General Chatter #7

[Caramello]

Hey everyone!!!

I so hear you Blizz on being flat out!! It's the first week back and I feel like I haven't stopped!

I would love to have seen Paige's face with the big, scary B1 and B2! Glad she got over it though.

That's really mean to do to someone - did they give any reason why he was chosen? I hope that DH can move back to his old crew soon.

Tarkine, Ali and Lulu,

Obviously I am the only one with paranoid feeling about giving blood! What did you end up doing Ali?

Lissie,

How you doing out there?

As for me - busy, busy, busy!! But by next week we will have a new car, a new couch and a new bass guitar. Then I'm hoping things settle down for a while.

[blizz]

they needed to move a trouble maker from the other shift and they just pulled DH's name off the list so nothing intentional
sorry I think I forgot to say a general Hi to all!!! hope you are all travelling well,
I am off to watch the ghost whisperer (even though I should ban myself from watching it when DH is away I have nightmares from it some times)

poor biddie wants to know if he/she can come to visit one of you guys, is getting sick of mummy sneezing and sending him/her on a rollercoaster ride LOL!!!(been sneezing on and off for the last hour)

[alioops]

Gargy, havent called them yet, next week while i am off work.

[Lissie]

Hi Girls,

Sorry i have been MIA. Unfortunately things have not worked out. On Monday a got great news that my levels had gone up to 3090 from 235 7days prior so that was wonderful and doctor and i were so positive. Yesterday i had very bad cramping and back pain and boy it was something i had physically felt before but try to minimise it and did my best to soldier on. Then i had a bleed and new exactly what was happening - i rang the nurse - was sent for another blood test this morning and levels had dropped to 2095 and then sent for a scan to rule out ectopic and all the scan showed was an empty sac sitting in my uterus. So my worst fears came to be - miscarriage again - i don't know why this is happening again - i am so very sad and go thru times of thinking i am handling it to absolutely falling apart - been there done that - i am just going thru the motions i guess. But basically it all SUCKS - all i want is a little baby - why on earth are all these no hopers and drug addicts out there getting babies and not me - it SUCKS big time - i am so angry at God right now. If there is a God why would he do this?????? I am so being tested.

[blizz]

NO, I so didn't want to believe this Lissie, I am heart broken and devastated for your loss, I really don't know what to say.
I really truely hoped this was to be your turn, oh sweets, I am speechless, please look after yourselves, I am so sorry

[alioops]

Oh Lissie this is so unfair!!!! there is a sticky bubba there for you, he/she is almost ready to be implanted and hang around for life. I know it feels horrible hun, but unfortunately these things happen, the answer is there, and you will find it.

[Caramello]

Oh Lissie - I am so sorry. I was so sure it would work for you. I am sure that you are feeling the same way. I'm upset for you - I can't think of anything else to say. Be gentle with yourself.

[Lissie]

Hi girls,

Thanks for your thoughts and kind words. Really i will be okay i guess i am just fragile right now, i know what motions i will go thru and at least i am prepared.
I woke with such bad cramps and back ache again this morning - i hate this part - but i guess i must go thru it, i wish they could just give you a pill or something to make it go away.
Hope you are all well - again thanks. Will probably just lurk around for a little while - times like these we always need a little time to ourselves.

[Malyna]

Ohhhh.. Lissie honey... I feel for you darling.. you have my thoughts, love and loads of hugs heading your way.

blizz, bummer about DH being changed off his crew - i would have loved to have seen Paige's face (what a hoot!)

hey gargy, new car.. what did you end up deciding on? Was the the camry?

Hey ali, how's things?

mm

me, well i started the nasal spray this morning. I've also had two accupuncture sessions, to get my energy levels right - the accupuncturist said that my levels are good, but it is really nice to be fussed over - bit like having a head massage at the hairdresser (although a lot more comfortable!)

Love to all you lovely ladies, tarkie

[Lissie]

ladies,

Well tonight i sit here and still not really believing what has happened. I was told i was pregnant by the clinic 21st April hcg 235 then another bt 28th with hcg at 3090 - on Thurs evening i had a small bleed but lots of cramps and back ache , go for another bt on Frid and hcg down to 2095 and prog dropping, so we all know what that means. I get sent for a scan as doc is worried about ectopic, all that is found is an empty sac measuring 5wks and 4days, nurse rings this morning and says another scan next week to totally rule out ectopic. I really thought this was my turn , i had beautiful donor embryos from a lovely young 26yrs old couple, i just cannot believe this has happened to me again. I am really starting to believe that i will never ever be a mother, i have almost convinced myself of it. I still have two lovely embies waiting and will try again when i am allowed by doctor, but after that i have nothing left. I really don't think i have any energy or emotions left now, i feel so drained of this whole journey. I almost feel as if now i am a robot just going thru the motions, one minute sad and cannot stop crying the next i am well almost normal. I don't want to be a complete sad sack around people cause there is nothing worse for them, so basically i try to be happy in company and leave the sad parts to my alone time ( so hard to do sometimes). I thought i would be bleeding by now and my body would be expelling everything but i am still waiting, i have had cramps and lower back pain on and off but still nothing - i just wish is would all be over. Sometimes is wish this whole journey was over so i could know what the future holds for me, i feel as if the bubble of hope i have held onto for so long is now slippping thru my fingers - i just don't feel much hope anymore. I have got a so much in my life to be grateful for, i have a terrific husband, great extended family and good friends and not to mention my two beautiful dogs but how my heart aches for a child - it just does not seem fair sometimes and yet i hate that saying that it isn't fair. I am not an overly religious person but right now i am so angry at god - why is he testing me so - why is life testing me so - if it is to see how strong i am - i feel as if i am just about broken emotionally and there is not much left for this part of my life. God i really hate all this - i know i will feel better with time but you know it all just sucks so much. I think we all need to vent a little and i guess this is a bit of a vent right now - so i hope you all understand - i just feel like i want to go out into one of our paddocks and just scream at the top of my voice.

[jmmum]

Lissie,
So very very sad for you. You go out in that paddock and scream and scream. Hold on like crazy and I'm sure we are all hoping that you finally get a bubba in your arms. I do think that if there is a god he she often gets it wrong prehaps he she needs to job share ( to much work for one) maybe that will stop the STUFF UPS!!!!!!!!!!!!
Thinking of you Never say never. Just next time!!!!

[blizz]

you are perfectly entitled to vent Lissie and you are in the totally right place to do this, I am sorry that you are in such a hard place right now, I hope that you don't totally loose your faith in your dream to hold your baby in your arms, but I do understand how it may have taken quite a battering with this huge loss, Please take some time to grieve and let out your hurt and frustration, sometimes cybersupport just doesn't feel enough I wish I could give you a real time hug, lots of love from Allie.B xxxxxx

[blizz]

DH has been a fair bit depressed about all of the changes at work and was fairly keen to get home Sunday morning after working night shift for 5 nights, I told him to SMS me if he decided to sleep and come home later(not that I expected him to do this though) at least this would let me know that he is on the road and when, as it is a fairly remote drive home from where he works.
Well any way I hear him arrive Sunday morning about 8am and go out to see him and my first view is of a broken side light at the front of the car, quite a bit of denting down the side panel and more denting at the back end of his station wagon,
My heart went in to my mouth, he was fine thankfully with a sheepish grin tells me that it was fine, he went a little bit hard in to the corner and lost control in to the armco .
thankfully he hit the armco and didn't go over a bank some where or we would have had a hell of a time trying to find him, totally scared the heck out of me and I spent a fair part of the day punching him in the arm for being an idiot and 1-driving home in the first place, 2-driving to fast on notoriously wet roads, 3- scaring the poop out of me!!!!!!!!
He talked to the insurance company today and it sounds like they will write the car off which means we now need to try and find him a new car in a week......MEN!!!!!!

[Malyna]

Ohh Blizz honey.. .I'm sooo glad that DH is ok... typical men!! always have to test the limits.. good luck with the car hunting...


i'm feeling very light headed and am a space cadet.. I had to come home early because I was exhausted from trying to focus my attention... Hoping that this goes away... maybe.. fingers crossed.

Love and light to everyone

[Caramello]

Scary stuff Blizz - glad that DH is ok!

Looks like you will be getting a new car earlier than expected!

Yes, I definitely would have given him a punch in the arm.

Hi Tarkine,

Not good about the dizzy thing - that's pretty scary too.

Wouldn't be the nasal stuff would it? Or is it something else?

As for me - put the deposit on the new car but forgot to sign my side of the paperwork. So I will be toddling off to the bank again tomorrow (sigh).

[Malyna]

gargy I think it is the drugs - are you catching my vagueness (re signing the papers! - hehe).

[Caramello]

Oh tell me about it Tarkine - doing slightly better today but still managed to leave my lunch in the car for a good hour or so - thank goodness it was cool weather today!

How are you doing today - feeling any better?

How are you Blizz?

Hi to everyone else out there....

[Malyna]

ohhh I'm a grumpy gumby today... everything was getting on my nerves.. DH is in adelaide for work and I think he's enjoying having 1500km between us at the mo (hehe).. nahh... he's been an absolute darling about my being moody (trained well by his mum!)