Donor Conception General Chatter #8

[Caramello]

Blizz...

One more day to go, la, la, la, la, la, la!!!

[blizz]

ooooohhhhhh don't I know it, I am sooooooooo counting down the hours and minutes, I can't remember ever feeling ths tired (or this huge)
as a bonus one of my work mates swapped times with me so I no longer have to work till 6:30pm which I am really happy about.
must be a good week....It's my birthday on Sunday as well!!!!
Hope you are feeling a little better hon I really think we both deserve a good holiday from bugs and lergies!!!!!!!!!!!
Oh well I need to climb in to bed will be able to pop in a little more reguarly soon
might be needing the adult companionship and conversation (there really is only so much Dora the explora you can take before going insane)

[Lieve]

Thanks Gargy and Blizz for your warm welcome and cyber hugs, they were very well received. I spend countless hours reading everything I can about azoospermia, and how there are so many different reasons for this. Is anybody happy to share their backgrounds with me on this and the process followed to get to the final decision to go with donor sperm'? My husband was born with undescended testicles, only having them 'dropped' at 8 years of age. This is appearing at face value to be the root cause resulting in irrepairable damage, but I guess until further investigation we're not entirely sure, and maybe afterall it's not that important, and it does no good to look backwards (excuse my musings). Oh, and to top it off we've since found out I have pcos (apparently also quite common?!).

Blizz - congratulations on finishing up at work, it must be an amazing, exciting feeling.

[Joy08]

Hi Everyone

Lieve! I am glad that I have given you some hope!! It is such a shock when you find out that DH has no sperm. My DH had 2 seminal analysis - which both came back as zero sperm. He then had a biopsy which came back the same - nothing. We were then referred to a fertility clinic. He had some blood tests and it showed that his condition was not genetic, we were then given the option to do another sperm search where they looked high and low for sperm and again nothing. The clinic started me on an IVF cycle and timed DH's operation in with this in case they did find any sperm this could have been used to fertilise eggs, however this was not to be! DH's condition is called Sertoli Cell Only Syndrome - so he does not have the cells to produce sperm. We both really want a family so going with the donor option is good for us.
Like Blizz said there is a great support network within this forum - I have found it has helped me so much! It's nice to be able to chat with others in similar situations as yourself. Here is another hug for you... Oh and I have PCOS too. I kinda suspected I had it though so was not too much of a shock finding out. The doctor said on a scale of 1-10 I am about a 3. As long as I keep exercising and eat healthy then everything will be fine!

Blizz - Last day today!!! You must be so happy!!!

Well as for me the clinic called this morning and out of the 7 that fertilised we had 4 really good ones and the other 3 are a little slow but will see how they go and will find out on Sunday how they are getting on!
So we went in this morning and had 1 little embie transferred!! Was a little nervous but the whole procedure is not painful at all and was so quick!! So we are now in the TWW!! I am just relaxing for the rest of the day

Hope everyone else is travelling well... chat with you all soon

[blizz]

oh joy, I wish you well for the dreaded TWW, don't give in to POAS (even though I have done numerous times, hee hee)


Lieve: our story and journey are pretty simple we didn't even get as far as tests or Biopsys for DH he has a genetic condition called Kleinfelters Syndrome which basically means his body doesn't and never has produced testosterone as he has an extra female chromosone in his make up so basically his testicals never developed past that of an infant so definately a big fat zero on the sperm count, we went through a period of grieving a counseller we saw explained to us that what we were going through was equivilent to the grief of losing a loved one and it took us some time to come out of the dark hole especially for DH who felt like he had let me down.
the turn around came when we saw our brilliant FS who helped put things in to perspective and DH came around quickly to the idea of using DS it is amazing how quickly your perceptions change when you are faced with no other choices and we began our IVF journey we started with IUI for 6-8 months (can't quite remember the time frame) which was unsuccessful and then moved in to ICSI my DD was the result of my first FET as the fresh transfer didn't work.
When DD was 1 we started back to try for a sibling and have had approx 7 FET one was my angel baby lost in Nov 07 and we are now expecting a DS, big brother for our little princess.
this is it pretty much in the nut shell!!!!


Well ladies it has been a bittersweet day today.....I am more than a little relieved to have finally finished work, don't think I could have worked the extra 2 weeks I was planning to if I tried.

Got home had take away chicken and vegies for tea then my SIL called me to tell me she needed to come up to see me and basically to cut a long story short, my mum was arrested and charged with shoplifting this morning!!!!!

I knew we would start seeing signs of the dimensia at some stage but was really hoping the serious stuff would be a little bit furthur away than this.

apparently she picked up 4 identical items and walked around the store picking the tags off them then went in to the dressing room and put 3 singlet type (tummy trimmers) on top of each other and another in her bag, and then went to leave the store.

My sil only found out incidentally when mum failed to arrive home in time to meet her as she had arranged and mum confessed she had been at the police station but it was "just a misunderstanding??????" My SIL went to get the whole story as mum had told her that they(the police) wouldn't allow her to call anyone (which we already knew was untrue) apparently this was the second time in 2 weeks where she had stolen something having stolen 2 pairs of knickers the week before from the same store.

The really sad thing is she genuinely can't understand that she has done anything wrong
so dad told her tonight that she would need to have somebody with her at all times when she goes in to town.

I know that the mum I have known all my life would be absolutely horrified of having done this.

Her condition basically effects the social part of the brain including the ability to determine right from wrong.....I guess I hadn't realised how hard this illness might be on not only mum but our whole family....I think I am still a little in shock.
Mum will have to go to court so I don't realy know what will happen,I just needed to vent this out in a trusted space
Well I need to go to bed and attempt to sleep as I am absolutley exhausted
love to you all Allie

[Caramello]

Joy,

(in spooky voice) Stay away from the POAS

Blizz,

I'm so sorry to hear about your Mum. That will be hard - trying to make sure that someone is with her at all times.

So excited though - Angus is almost here!!!


Lieve - to answer your question (sorry this is long, but it has been a long process!!!)

Firstly me: I'd had an ovarian cyst when I was 15, which had to be removed as it was swelling. However the PCOS diagnosis was a long time coming, when I was around 25. The worst of it: I had bleeding for 10 weeks, then periods go missing for 9 months. Coupled with clueless gynaecologists, it was hard going for a while there.

However, I got a really good GP who did the glucose fasting test, and put me on Diabex, which helped a lot. I also found a great natropath who seems to have my cycles back in order. This was only in the last few years.

I came off the Pill when I was 25. Nothing happened. At 27 we started investigating, and DH did a sperm test. No sperm. Actually the FS was fairly clueless and sent him for a DNA test too - which upset DH no end. After the same FS told me that "everything is going to be fine" - something that sticks with me because of the absolute stupidity of the statement - we moved to Westmead IVF.

They did a biopsy and found that DH had no sperm in the testes either. They recommended at the time we had a donor ready - but DH was not ready. Initially he said no, no children, ever. I tried to live with this but I couldn't.

So he and I went to counselling. It took time, and there were other issues to sort out as well, but he realised that genetics did not make a father. He also did an IQ test and found out how intelligent he really was, which also helped because he decided to go to uni part time.

We were also seeing a natropath who promised to return DH's sperm. I thought it was dubious, but I gave it 6 months for DH's sake. However (obviously) it didn't work. Our new FS took one look at DH's testes and said - no, you were never going to have sperm there.

I found out later (via a comedian's spiel, of all things!) about an orchidometer - a physical representation of the testes. The commedian told us he had 'spaznuts' and one of the reasons why was because of the small testes. I went 'ah, so that's how our FS knew just by looking!'

So we started with an unknown donor in Feb 2006, using IVF. I was 35, thinking that this was going to work. Unfortunately it didn't. DH's brother then offered to be a donor, but then pulled out as he felt he couldn't distinguish between a child that was his, and a nephew/niece. Also, my BIL and his wife put so many conditions on the donation which did not agree with our philosophy (eg we were not to tell the child who their biological dad was) so we had decided not to pursue this way anyway.

We tried again in June with the unknown donor and again it didn't work. Then I had to have an operation to get rid of my gallbladder. By the time we came back to the clinic all the donors had hit their 10 family limit, and there were no more donors left.

The night before we went to the clinic, we had been out to dinner with my gay friend. He was very interested in the procedure and volunteered to help, should we need him.

We took him up on the offer and he has been a godsend. He has been put through counselling, questions about his sex life etc, all done with patience. However, the road has not always been smooth - usually because deadlines are not necessarily his priority!

We used his sperm this year in Feb, but no luck. I was devistated, because I thought it would work. However, we are about to start at the end of the month with IVF.

So that's our - very long winded - diagnosis and decision to go with a donor!

[blizz]

I found out later (via a comedian's spiel, of all things!) about an orchidometer - a physical representation of the testes. The commedian told us he had 'spaznuts' and one of the reasons why was because of the small testes. I went 'ah, so that's how our FS knew just by looking!'

hee, hee the urologist we visited showed us the lovely visual representation he had..... it was called 'the rosery' a selection of egg shaped balls that increased in size along the string all hand crafted out of native Tasmanian timbers....DH was pretty devestated to know that his testes had never developed past the stage of an infant.
Pretty chuffed now though as he had an operation to remove both testes and all of the nerve endings as he was in constant pain and now has testes the right size for a man his age (silicone prosthesis) who knew you could get prosthetic nuts???????

[Caramello]

the lovely visual representation he had..... it was called 'the rosery'

It's the same thing Blizz - the rosary is it's nickname! Although very impressive that it was made out of Tasmanian timbers.

I have a sneaking suspicion the urologist DH went to probably did the same thing - but he was so traumatised by the incident of them doing a DNA test "Do they think I'm a monkey?" that he probably blocked it.

who knew you could get prosthetic nuts???????

Nope - learn something new everyday!!

[Caramello]

Miss Blizz!!!



You sneaky person - I only saw the notice at the bottom of BB!

[blizz]

can't sneak anything past you Gargy, LOL

[Joy08]

Hi Ladies

I just have a quick question for you Blizz... did you do day 3 or day 5 embie transfers? (If you dont mind sharing this info!) Just curious as I had a day 3 transfer and have been doing some research on day 3 vs day 5 transfers and I have read a lot of success stories from each of these. So just curious really!!

Sorry cant stay long but will pop back in over the next few days.....

[blizz]

Joy, I think from memory they were day 3 embies, I don't remember staying in Hobart long from egg harvest to transfer so I reckon this would be right

[Malyna]

Hi Lieve - the best thing I found was to read up on Donor issues - there are many complications and the best way forward is the best way for you both.

Joy - Yah!! I had blastie transfer but that was what the FS signed me up for - i think it depends on the clinic and the FS.

Blizz - happy birthday and oohh are you on mat leave now?

Gargy - go girl go!! Syneral tasted terrible and my advice is to do it quickly - press hard and quick on the spray and someone said have an orange afterwards to take away the taste!

MM- how are you travelling?

Me - I'm tired and exhausted - Adelaide was a task and a half and I'm really glad we went when we did to help out my pregnant SIL (with her active 15mth old). It was a tragedy and terrible for everyone left behind.

Take care of yourselves. xxoo

[blizz]

good to see you back Tarkine, hope you and your family are OK?
how are you feeling PG wise? not too much MS I hope, bet you are exhausted being away from home always does this too me not to mention stressful situations which from the sounds of it you've had recently as well.
Well I am officially up to day 3 of Maternity leave and Loving it!!!!!!! (I promise I'll stop counting after the first week) will be time for Angus's countdown then I guess, I am so much bigger this time than I was with Paige and he is really active (and quite pushy) at the moment especially when I have just settled in to bed at night.
We brought Paige a big girl trike with pedals today, she had really outgrown her baby push along bikes, also has a dora the explorer helmet which she has been proudly wearing.
We have had the plumber and the electrician do their bits for the laundry, the builder has put in the frame for the slider door and the plasterer will be here tomorrow morning at 8:30 so I won't be far out of bed tonight (didn't get to bed till after midnight last night due to helping DH put together some items that a customer had ordered), feeling like I am running on the bottom third of a tank of petrol.
have got mums court date for next month and have booked Paige in to day care DH will be working day shift.
well don't have any other news feeling a little vague, night all and take care

[Malyna]

Blizz - bummer about your mum being caught for shop lifting

yah for mat leave!! I'm really looking forward to mine and meeting bubs - I've been waking at 4am for the past week, unable to get back to sleep properly, along with aching shoulders and hip joint I feel like I'm 90!! - maybe just preparation for bubs coming along!!
Family is ok - plodding along, loads of unanswered questions and why's at this stage.
Going off to do a buddhist meditation and see if I can at least find some peace for an hour or so..

xxoo

[blizz]

have been playing with my user profile have a look and tell me honestly what you think...is it too much?????? started playing with it after seeing Sarah.H's it looked cool

[MsPink]

Blizz - looks good...

Joy - just checking on you..hope you're hanging in there ok..

[Caramello]

Hey everyone,

Lieve, are you still around?

Joy - hope everything is ok, haven't heard from you in a while....

Tarkine, so sad to hear about a tragedy in the family. Hope you are able to find peace. How goes the pregnancy?

Hey Blizz - thanks for your help and understanding over the past week. How goes the renovations? Is Paige whizzing around on the bike? Hope you are feeling recharged. Not sure what you mean about the changes??? Honestly I must be blind...

Hi Minnie - hope things are travelling well for you.

Well, after a completely horrid week, I feel a lot better because I have typed/referenced everything that has been happening for the past year. Now I can let go of it until next week and concentrate on other things.

After taking the dog to the vets tomorrow (he keeps biting his tail, for some reason) I go to the clinic, pay for and pick up everything. Round one here we come.