Has anyone used a sperm donor?

[dreamrise659]

Hi Mejane,

I'm not sure what state you are in but in Victoria and in NSW there have been legal cases go through the courts where donors (who used home AI) have been able to get access to the child. In one case the mother ended up killing herself and the child after a judge awarded fortnightly access to the donor. In both cases the judges looked at what was agreed to prior to conception and during pregnancy and in the case above there was no written agreement and since the mother and the donor disagreed on what had been the original agreement but there was nothing in writing to prove either side to be telling the truth the judge sided with the donor.

Interestingly you are right about the woman not being entitled to any financial support from the donor if conception was through AI. So while the woman has no rights the donor does.

Lori

hiya,

I have and have never had a problem with it. The donor needs to be the 'right' kind of person and the level of trust is always paramount. If I get any dodgy offers from guys wanting to 'do it' naturally I send them packing!

I also don't believe that it is my responsibility to pay for flights and things to get the donor to me because the money spent on air fairs- I would spend at a clinic!

As far as the Law goes, even if you have something down on paper- it still means diddly squat, because legally- a man who has not produced offspring any way other than naturally is not entitled to any rights over the child-nor is she entitled to anything from him for the child. Thats just the way it is, Reese Whitherspoon in Legally Blonds 'reckless abandonment' argument or not!- sorry couldn't help myself there!! LOL

cheers

MJ

[Mejane]

Wow....I wasn't aware of that. I did think of that after posting that the only benefit of having the agreement was so that one or the other could produce a copy if it got nasty.

I agree it can be tricky, as it must be proven on the balance of probability, so I guess if the child proves his on a paternity test, then it would make it a 99% balance that either way-'the baby got in there' and since it is socially recognised that conception happens with coitus regardless of all arguments- a magistrate would just say "Takes two to Tango the kid is yours"

I think that is why proper research by the potential Mum in choosing their donor is that they are solid. I mean it takes two extrodinary humans with bonifida honesty.

Not many people know this- BUT.......there is actually a simple way out if the donor refuses to sign a proof contract of conception through A.I. and it is STILL legal!

If you REALLY want to protect yourself ladies, and you do strike this trouble here is what you do!

1. You write one or print one. Between your name and his first or full name (if you know)
2. You sign and date it.
3. Go down to the post office and
register post it to yourself
4. When it arrives- Don't open it!

Keep it safe and filed so if you have a Blow up.....you take your registered envelope sealed -signed and dated showing him as second party.

Now- anything that is sent through Australia Post is still Her Majesties Royal Mail- That postal mark is worth more than most realise nor that threshold it has in law.

Law isn't all black and white. I could argue the sky was green splitting a hair that blue is a primary colour, but so is yellow. Together they make green! Bad example I know. But you get the idea.

Hope this might help empower someone anyhow.

Girl Power!!

M.J

[Amity]

Not many people know this- BUT.......there is actually a simple way out if the donor refuses to sign a proof contract of conception through A.I. and it is STILL legal!

If you REALLY want to protect yourself ladies, and you do strike this trouble here is what you do!

1. You write one or print one. Between your name and his first or full name (if you know)
2. You sign and date it.
3. Go down to the post office and
register post it to yourself
4. When it arrives- Don't open it!

Keep it safe and filed so if you have a Blow up.....you take your registered envelope sealed -signed and dated showing him as second party.

Now- anything that is sent through Australia Post is still Her Majesties Royal Mail- That postal mark is worth more than most realise nor that threshold it has in law.

Law isn't all black and white. I could argue the sky was green splitting a hair that blue is a primary colour, but so is yellow. Together they make green! Bad example I know. But you get the idea.

Hope this might help empower someone anyhow.

Girl Power!!

M.J

Please note that this is not legal. There is no "real" protection.

I am a barrister specialising in family law - I do know what the law says. Please obtain independent legal advice before considering your position.