it really depends on whether it's a one off, or systemic.

was it something i can live with if i still have the person in my life, or has it been a number of things building up to the point i simply can't trust the person

case in point - DH's family. i forgave the "worst offender" many sins - she was one of my best friends. i tried to keep the peace between her and DH, i tried to sooth tempers. but it didn't help. the bitterness she felt towards DH (which i STILL can't work out) spilled over on to me, and i became the target. i can forgive a lot of actions, but when you take my angel babies and use them as a weapon against me, sorry, not a chance. there is a limit - a very solid line in the sand - you cross that, it's all over.

i have forgiven many things - i have worked to rebuild friendships that "died" because of issues i have decided weren't worth losing the friendship. i can't FORGET, but i can live with the fact that something happened - it is just there as a reminder to tread slightly more carefully with that person. with the member of DH's family though, caution didn't work - i tried that. so now it's the "sinner" as well as the "sin" that stands there - and i can't (won't?) change that.


Forgive, sounds good
Forget, I'm not sure I could
They say time heals everything
But I'm still waiting