I go with a little bit of both. I'm not sure you can really separate them TBH because if my head says something my heart will eventually follow, and if I feel something strong enough in my heart I will eventually find strong head justifications for that. I can't say I've ever been in a position where I feel divided for very long. I do think that kids do change things though, as in my head will always lead me along paths that are in their best interests, but then sometimes what is best for me is in their best interests. I think it has to be situation specific... Not much help am I, lol.