I have these thoughts going around in my head and i'm going to try and see if I can make sense of them...!

So i've been thinking about life and how I expect, at a very basic level, that i'm going to have all these things. At some point I WILL meet the man of my dreams, at some point my kids WILL go to Uni, I WILL own my own house, I WILL find that allusive place where I am "happy".

I will have all of these things because this is my life and I will have it all play out before I die. Its my life and it's so important because it's mine and I am the most important person in the world (please bear with me...). I mean, basically we are...if I don't take care of myself I can't take care of anyone else...

But what about all the people that don't "get" everything or even anything that they want? What about the people that meet the perfect person and then die?? How does that happen? Their life is important, they are the most important person in their life but they don't get to have "everything"...why not? Why can some people get things and not everyone?

how about people that live in 3rd world countries that have nothing, that have to watch their kids die, how do they deal with not having what they want to have to live their "perfect" life?

Does any of this make sense or is it all just verbal diarrhea? I'm finding it really hard to put my thoughts into writing...

I guess i'm realising that I am so wrapped up in trying to have everything that I think I need for my life to be perfect...and i'm so ridiculously lucky, I have never had anyone very close to me die, i've had hard times financially but i've ALWAYS pulled through. I have never had a problem I couldn't deal with. I am so lucky...so, so lucky. I can't quite understand or believe that others are not...

And why not?? Their lives aren't less important than mine...but why do they have to deal with awful things?

Oh wow, i'm sorry if this makes no sense at all...and no i'm not drunk or stoned lol. Does anyone understand what i'm trying to say??