I think you might run into trouble with this train of thought hun. Do you realise how many planets would have to align in order to get this elusive place to be happy? You find after awhile that there will always be some sort of blah to deal with through your life. You don't get to this perfect place then just sit there and live.

Getting the very very most of out life includes feeling pain, hurt, joy and passion. None can exist without the other. You might not end up with 3 children at uni. Simply because they might not want to go. You can't control other people to that point, nor do you want to.....but does that bugger up the big picture for you? (Interchange any one of those scenarios). You cannot just command this to work out for you and expect it because you wish it so. I know you know that

So then comes the acceptance, the release and the freedom away from wants and manifestation and the need to be happy all the time (yah know cos apparently sadness is terrible ). I find the less wants I have, happier I am.

That's my ramble right back atcha

ETA - oh and I meant to say you have to be happy in the here and now, not wait to gather everything to take to a perfect life. What if you get hit my a bus tomorrow . That's my fave saying anyhoo
I know thats the thing, the totally random thing...in my head i'm going to have everything I want...I have to because it's my life and my life is everything in the world. But it's not...I guess i'm trying to say that in my head i'm wrapped up in myself and my little bubble but thats not real, and i'm only really just starting to really SEE that thats not real...am I making sense?? I feel like i've been living inside my head, and never really realising that everyone feels the way about their world that I feel about mine.

I think i've been thinking about this because I saw Les Miserables this evening and it's been in my head for a few days. This guy steals a loaf of bread (victorian?? times) and goes to jail...trys to run away gets caught ends up in jail for 19 years. Now I know it's just a story but these things happened...a lot. Now we hear about that and go "wow, thats ****" but who really imagines it. Trying to save someone who is starving and ending up in jail for 20 years. Really imagine it...but that would never happen to me because my life would never end up like that because it's going to be "perfect" and I live in my bubble...do you see what i'm saying??? Those people probably thought the same thing and yet it happened to them.

And what about people that stood up for something they believed in...black people, Jews, Christians...all the millions of people that have sacrificed their lives so that we can live these amazing lives...we go "wow, thats amazing, thank goodness for them" but can you really imagine doing that? And for the most part no one knowing your name years later?? These people were the most important things in their (and others) worlds and yet they gave up everything to help other people.

I almost feel like i'm waking up and realising that other peoples lives are as in depth and fantastic and amazing in their heads as mine is in my head. And i'm struggling with it to be honest. It's blowing my mind. How can we all have this much going on in our heads/lives...every singleone of us. And yet some people chose to fill their days working a job that can barely be called a job, sunbaking and playing with thei kids and othes chose to put everything on the line and change the world.

I'm just feeling a little bit useless to be honest, and in awe.

It's funny you should say about voluteering. I've just been looking on line at what I can do, I can't give money but I can give time. And I want to...I just don't know how/where. If any one has any ideas i'd love to hear them...

Not sure if this cleared up what I was getting at or made it more muddy lol