i feel strongly about fast food parties too, but as bilby is about to start school soon, i wonder if i will get put in the position of having to do the same, decide to let her go or not. And if i will fold, under the pressure of
- her excitement to go to a "birthday party" (she would have little idea of a fast food party - they don't sound very child friendly to me)
- the peer pressure of "everyone else is going except me" type comments.

Once i took my step daughter to a fast food party. EVERY child in the class was invited (29). Too many kids really, it was just a noisy rabble. No-one really enjoyed themselves. I think it was very overwhelming for the birthday child too. It was at a posh school, i remember being surprised that affluent people would choose a fast food party, but i can see the "no mess, no hassle" aspect - home is not trashed. But parents still brought quite a bit of stuff for the party, even though it was supposedly fully catered for by the fast food place. It was a relief to leave the party.

my dd's birthday usually falls in heatwave weather, and every year i go thru the mindgames of "how do i transport the food and keep it cool, in a park/playground?" cos i don't have a suitable home to host a party in either, so i do get the "location" aspect. I deal with the numbers of children, by iniviting the number of children, the age that bilby is turning. So if she is four, i invite four little friends. No structure except for "cake time". Last year, i provided music, encourage invitees to dress up, and they all danced around in fairy outfits - had a blast being giggly, whirling, kids.

i think as children get older, it would be harder to turn down an invite, without serious upset from the child. I'm trying to teach bilby to look after the environment, not be wasteful etc, but i'm not sure my environmental reasonings, would calm her down, in the same situation as you describe ECAPRIS. I'm sure i would try, but i'm not game to predict what the actual outcome would be, UNTIL bilby is actually in school, and we come up against this situation.

From your description, i would want to supervise and watch like a hawk too. One bad experience, would prolly be "enough ammunition" for me to say to bilby ' remember how awful the last fast food party was?

things like this, that were clear cut for me PRE CHILD, are suddenly blurring into "shades of gray", now i am a parent. Makes me feel wishy washy, but it's really how i feel. Unsure basically. I'm bringing up a single child, already feeling very guilty for my low rates of socialising - which then in turn mean low socialising for bilby.

Once she's at school, maybe it will all become clearer. I can't just hope that the situation won't come up, cos i'm sure it will. (and the electronic hand held games, and the kids with access to all the stuff i have kept from her so far e.g computers. all day kids cable channels). i feel so out of my depth.

Rach, i feel so strongly about McHappy Meals, Fun Meals etc (all that unethical marketing to children, the linking of toys to their brand), that even with our food issues (her not eating), even when i was so desperate, i bought her junk food at HJ, i bought her food individually, so she did not get the brightly coloured kids box with plastic toy inside. She didn't eat anything but the french fries. she loves cheese, so i thought she might try the cheeseburger - but no.

I do have a friend, who bought Macca's, started eating it to find a roach inside the burger - so i just can't bring myself to go there, plus they don't have salad in the burgers.