Thankyou all for your amazing advice. I will think of the pros and cons and get DH to do the same and hopefully this will get us somewhere. Trouble is I think he'll come up trumps as he wants to send our children to private secondary school and this will be expensive enough with 3 let alone 4. I'm not so fussed about this and would be happy for them to go private when they're in about yr 10. Trouble again is I went to a public secondary school and did ok.....he went to a private secondary school and did extremely well!! Not to say the same will follow with our kids.

Also, I'm not fussed about ttc a boy. I have never really wanted a boy and DH isn't fussed about this either. In fact if we did have another one we would both be hoping for another girl.

I know what you mean about hubby having to look after 3 kids while I struggle through a pregnancy but our marriage is rock solid and I would never consider leaving him just to have a 4th child. We completely love each other and our family. Maybe I should just be grateful that he said yes to the 3rd.....after a year or two of 'nagging'.......and enjoy her instead of thinking about the 4th. The funny thing is I've never really liked the thought of having a baby before. Number 1 was a nightmare with reflux, number 2 never slept and number 3 is a dream. I just want to have the experience with number 3 all over again!!

I guess that even if I have number 4 I'll still want number 5. The midwife who attended our beautiful home water birth of number 3 said she still feels that way aged 62 years and after 4 children of her own!!!

Anyway, thanks so much for letting me talk about it and I really value your experience and advice. Sometimes it's so hard to know how to live the one life we're given. If I don't move in the next couple of years on number 4 my time will be up. I really value the 3 I have. I love them to death and never take them for granted.

Thanks for listening......MW....xx