BIL got married 3 months ago and we found out today!

[Jennifer13]

I think weddings and marriages are between the two people involved and there is no obligation to tell anyone or invite anyone.

I know that sounds harsh and I can understand that you're hurt but I think maybe your BIL was thinking that it was early days in re-mending old wounds with your DH (given the short amount of time between Xmas and April) and maybe they didn't want to risk any blow-ups at the wedding. I think your SIL then probably thought, after getting to know you a bit, that you're lovely and she felt a little embarrassed telling you after the fact!

I actually said to DP that I understand not inviting us (altho DP is a little hurt by that), I'm just surprised that since we've been in touch relatively frequently that they hadn't said anything. I also said that SIL may be embarrassed, I agree with you on that, after all, how do you casually drop it in to conversation now!

Thing is, they've gone thru periods of not speaking before, BIL didn't speak to MIL for 2 years at one point and if BIL and DP don't speak, then do, they get back to it and after a few months are old pals again.