JM I dont think my mum understands her actions or behaviour are wrong. She may say she does and even apologise but she does it so she can see her grandkids.

What made me realise the extent of her problems was when she made a huge fuss on my 30th about not being involved in planning the surprise dinner on the beach I talked to my mil. She mentioned my mum had issues and she was wary of her after she told her how she told my dad not to come to see me after I had been in a serious car accident 6 years earlier. My mum had always told me my dad's wife had said he couldn't go in the car with my mum. At this stage they thought I had to be airlifted to Melbourne. I had a strained relationship with my dad and his wife after the accident and it was all based on lies.

I confronted my mum and she denied telling him not to come even in counseling, she said my dad and mil must be lying and how could I believe them over her. That was when the counsellor said she would never change and would always be controlling.

It was an eye opener and I certainly don't trust her. I let her have limited contact with the kids in the past when she watched the girls she wouldn't change their nappies, and would lie and say they had just pooed or tell me they ate a lot and wouldn't explain bumps.

I finally have a much better relationship with my dad, and I know not to believe my mum's gossip. Just have to work on my self esteem still and get healthy for my kids.

Ps congrats FB! Don't worry about father's day it's just something else your mum is focussing on if it wasn't that it would be something else.