Oh, yeah, for sure - blaming a NM for things is counterproductive! It would be too easy to say "oh, that's why I did this and that". That buck stops here. Too many times she told me that I was the cause of her breakdown when I was 4yo...so I don't give her too much credit for how I am today!
I can definitely see NPD in mothers of the friends who DIDN'T go away from me...which saddens me, because I want to send them the link to say "see? it wasn't YOU", but what if they're not ready for it?