I totally understand where you're coming from Glamourcide, I really do I think being such a sensitive topic though, posting in threads such as these really needs a lot of thought and quite a lot of tact (from both parties too - those who are getting it and those who aren't!). A low-sex relationship can be very stressful and upsetting and there can be a lot of work involved to help individuals and couples get through it (with or without therapists) and although a lot of the responses in this thread have been written in a collective 'You' way, for those reading who are trying to come to terms with their low-sex relationship and or work though it, it can be a terrible set back. It can instantly make them doubt themselves and their relationship.
Like I said earlier, I'm in a low-sex marriage and thanks to counselling (both with a sex therapist and psychologist), I'm pretty cool with it now. But when our 'issue' first became apparent (about 6 years into our relationship), when I believed it was 'wrong' and 'strange' for my DH to have a low libido (and I mean 'wrong' only because everyone, besides therapists, said it was ), reading or hearing comments like some of those in this thread would have completely screwed with my mind. My old friend 'Mr Doubt' would have started questioning everything again. I generally couldn't give a rats what anyone else thinks or says now as I know better (a good therapist will do that ) but boy have I had many moments where I've doubted myself and our relationship and it's hard for something like this thread to not cause doubt in those who are living in a low-sex relationship. The general population tends to believe that it's not 'normal' for couples to be having less sex than the 'average' couple but that is only because it's not openly spoken about. And it's threads like this that only make the issue worse. I'm sure no one meant to offend anyone but coming from the other side, I can see how easily people were offended.
The other thing that seemed to cause offense was comments about 'sex after baby' by those that haven't even had a baby yet! I think it's one of those threads, mainly because it is such a sensitive subject, that only those who have been through it should post. I know we can ignore the posts from those who haven't been through it but when they voice their opinions so loudly, it's quite hard to ignore them! I don't reply in threads about LTTC, miscarriages & stillborns, children with medical conditions, etc because I don't belong there. They are sensitive subjects and I have no personal experience in them - my opinion is not needed. I think the same applies to this particular thread. Unless you've been there ie 'after baby', then how can you really add value to the discussion IYKWIM. Once again, I wasn't personally affected by those particular posts but I think it's pretty obvious why some others were.
I think being such a sensitive topic though, posting in threads such as these really needs a lot of thought and quite a lot of tact (from both parties too - those who are getting it and those who aren't!). A low-sex relationship can be very stressful and upsetting and there can be a lot of work involved to help individuals and couples get through it (with or without therapists) and although a lot of the responses in this thread have been written in a collective 'You' way, for those reading who are trying to come to terms with their low-sex relationship and or work though it, it can be a terrible set back. It can instantly make them doubt themselves and their relationship.
), reading or hearing comments like some of those in this thread would have completely screwed with my mind. My old friend 'Mr Doubt' would have started questioning everything again. I generally couldn't give a rats what anyone else thinks or says now as I know better (a good therapist will do that
) but boy have I had many moments where I've doubted myself and our relationship and it's hard for something like this thread to not cause doubt in those who are living in a low-sex relationship. The general population tends to believe that it's not 'normal' for couples to be having less sex than the 'average' couple but that is only because it's not openly spoken about. And it's threads like this that only make the issue worse. I'm sure no one meant to offend anyone but coming from the other side, I can see how easily people were offended.
I don't reply in threads about LTTC, miscarriages & stillborns, children with medical conditions, etc because I don't belong there. They are sensitive subjects and I have no personal experience in them - my opinion is not needed. I think the same applies to this particular thread. Unless you've been there ie 'after baby', then how can you really add value to the discussion IYKWIM. Once again, I wasn't personally affected by those particular posts but I think it's pretty obvious why some others were.
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