Honestly hun, I can't make a true judgement on what I would do, because I am not in your situation. If you follow your head, will your heart start to agree, or will it cause issues between you and DF? If your weight wasn't an issue I understand from your post that you wouldn't even consider the drugs at this stage, so is your weight as much of a sticking point as your desire for a baby? If you could ensure that you were completely healthy, with regular gentle exercise and healthy diet through your pregnancy, would that mean that you weren't as worried about your weight?
Good luck making a decision hun, I know it is an incredibly hard one, so think it through completely and thoroughly, and I know you will come to the right decision for you and DF.
Oh hugs- TTC is tough. Batteling wieght loss is tough and psoriasis is tough. i only have very milk psoriasis but its in my family and my mum has it as do many other women in the family.
IMO- this pull towards TTC is something you seem to be longing for. have you considered taking a step back from everything. and prioritising what you long for most. For me weight has always been an issue. I have always struggled to keep my weight down. i put on 30 kgs wit my 1st and 19 with my 2nd (and that was trying not to put on anything)
If you REALLY want that baby then i'd say forget the weightloss (deal with it later) the psoraisis... Hmm tough no real controlling of it (from my experience) All i know is mine flairs up bit time when i am stressed. which means being stressed will mean more flare ups.
I think maybe DF needs a bit if time. maybe speak with him about how your feeling. i know when we were TTC our last that DP felt bad when things werent happening.
GL with your decision. take your time and make sure its what your and Df are BOTH happy with...
OK, I've been thinking about you alot re this situation and I think you should go for the TTC now, because I think it's the only way you are going to be truly happy. With the weight, I was about 15kg overweight when we were tossing up for #4 and DH wanted me to loose at least half of it first, but I said I didn't want to go to all that effort and hard work to loose it when I would put it on again with pg, and I'm someone who does tend to put on a lot of weight with pg, and I also didn't want to put my body under the stress that dramatic changes in weight can do to you kwim? Plus I didn't want to do it, then have to do it all again afterwards. So we struck a deal that we would TTC, but I would try to maintain a healthy weight gain during pg (and I did - I only put on about 15kg which is fabulous for me) and deal with the serious weight loss afterwards (still fighting that battle though ROFL).
As for the MTX and the p, I would take that chance that you will go into some degree of remission while you are pg and after the pg, if you've had some remission it should be a lot easier for the MTX to work and it may work quicker. Plus you know that you cannot fall pg under ANY circumstance while on the MTX (for those that don't know falling pg while on MTX will cause birth defects, not might, but will - it's a multi-purpose drug that is also used for chemotherapy in some cancers) and if that ever happened it would break your heart to have to terminate kwim?
Ok, this is just my thoughts here, what I would do, but not what you should do... just my ramblings LOL
I guess its about priorities. How much does having small age gaps mean? How much does losing weight mean? What impact would having 3 kids close in age have on losing weight? What impact would losing weight have on having 3 kids? Do you want 3 kids and then lose weight? Or would you prefer to be a healthy size with 3 kids?
Thats just my thinking anyway. I would lose the weight first, because I think it'd be hard enough getting enough time to go to the toilet (can be hard enough with one clingy one!!) let alone giving yourself the time to lose weigh KWIM? Would having 3 kids be an excuse NOT to give the time to yourself? Or would it be more of a motivator? What impact would excess weight have on a pregnancy? On being a mum to 3 kids? What would be the impact of letting go of your dreams of having 3 close in age? Would that be equally as depressing as being overweight? More? Less?
For me, I'd wait, lose the weight, then TTC. BUT my dream isn't to have kids really close together so for me waiting and losing the weight is the best option. If I had wanted 3 kids close together, and that was one of my ultimate dreams/goals then it would probably be a different story...
Just weigh up, which goal/dream whatever means the most. Which one would you be most disappointed to let go of. Usually your heart but yeah just weigh it up.
Oh, I suppose you have to factor DF in that too.... how hard is it going to be to get him onside? Suppose you probably should talkto him and ask why he isn't 100% on TTC right now too...
Some have said to lsoe the weight first - (and no offence to anyone pls) but they are much younger than me and have the time to wait - me - i am 37 so would do it again straight away if we were thinking of another one. I dont know how old you are in your sig - but that is a consideration for me. Also I had 2 easy pregs and then 2 losses which shocked me. So whilst we wanted our third close in age, nature had something else planned for us.
I need to lose about 15kg that have crept on from 3 kids - and having 3 kids is not an excuse for me that I cannot lose weight - it is a fact. I know things will get easier - but being up overnight, not getting good solid sleep, having to get out and do school runs - i often find I am running on a cup of coffee until 10.30 and realise i havent had any breakfast. I know what I need to do, but I am also b/f and have a husband that travels weekly - i am giving myself 6 months grace (5 weeks to go lol) and then I will try and get serious about health and fitness. I also have a baby who dislikes the pram (whats with that???!!!!) so makes it very hard to even walk more than 15 minutes without picking him up.
Anyway, ultimately it is a decision for you and your partner, it won't work any other way.
If you don't TTC - focus on the blessings you already have in your life - 2 healthy children and a partner who loves you. Take care.
I'm in the same boat as SamiH. Age was the main factor for me.
I was on a diet that I'd paid a lot of money to do... but in my heart I wanted another baby. I don't want to be close to 35 when having my last so after much discussion with my DH, we decided that we would try for a few months and if nothing happened, I would continue on with my diet and we'd try again after I got to my goal weight.
Long story short, I fell pregnant the first month and I am happy because it now means I will be 33 almost 34 when this Bub arrives... and I can pick up where I left off after the bub with my diet and lose the baby weight too.
DF and i decided on friday night, that we would put this discussion on the burner for a couple of weeks, while we are moving house.. (thats if the fire weather tomorrow doesnt bring the fire over oour place), we arent going to be careful i the next two weeks, and so i guess in a way leaves it up to fate, if we fall then we fall BUT, yeah if we havent fallen by next AF due, then we will dicsuss it all then.
I keep re reading everyones replys.
it means so much to me for those who took their time!
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but yeah just weigh it up.
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