It is to much to ask ? Re: Child Access

[XRMummy]

Ok bit of back ground Info
Dp and i have been together for 3 years in sept.. He has a almost 4 yr old son to his Ex Wife when they seperated he has been nothing but evil as she blames DP for the marriage break up (she had 2 affairs so we think she is in denial) and we have been to court to get court orders to see DSS as she refused to allow DP to see him till she got 70% of everything anyway we went to court but only got a small amount of time with DSS that we asked for so atm we have DSS for 2 hrs every 2nd Thursday 530 to 730
Every 2nd w/e 10 am sat to 6pm sunday Fathers day 9am to 7pm DP B/day 9 to 7pm
Xmas and Easter 24 hours DSS B/day 2 hours 5pm to 7pm and that is it

Everytime we ask Ex Wife for extra time she refuses even if its for an hour to have family photos done... Her excuse is that its her TIME WITH him (if we could get photos done in our time we would but they never seem to be at the shopping centres on our weekends )
She has also said to a number of people that she wants DP to have nothing to do with DSS and wishes that he would stop asking for more time with him Oh and she said that becoz we got a court order stopping her from leaving the district that she will make it harder for DP to see more of DSS....

Now that DSS is that lil bit older he has been asking us to have more sleep overs and gets very upset when we have to take him back to his mum as he just gets settled in and then its time to go back So we went to mediaition to seek a parenting plan but Ex Wife refused everythignn she agreed on 2 days after we had finished mediaition coz she didnt feel comfortable and says that DSS is having serperation issues with her and she is worried bout him...( she has been using this excuse for nearly 2 yrs now) but he has never shown this seperation issues when we are around him EG he is very happy to say goodbye to mum and runs to dad's car but gets very very upset when its time for us to return him......
so we have now been to see our solicitior and have put forward these times
Every 2nd w/e Friday 330pm to either sunday 7pm or monday 9am
following thursday 330pm to 9am friday
following Tuesday 330pm to 9am Wednesday
Every 2nd Public hol 9am to 7pm
One week of all mid year hol friday 330 to friday 330pm
2 weeks during xmas hols with Ex wife to have the middle weekend friday 330 pm to sunday 7pm
DP birthday 9am to 7pm
DD and DS birthday 330pm to 830pm
DSS b/day non school days odd yr 9am to 230pm
even yr 230pm to 7pm
School days Odd yr 6pm to 830pm
even yr 330pm to 6pm
and xmas and easter to stay the same 24 hours each
Also Ex wife needs t inform on us on all visits to the doc, spec etc and for us to have 50/50 on the schooling and medicial decisions

What do other people think? if this was ur Ex partner asking for these times wouldyou think it was to much????
We know that what we are gettin now is NOT enough We just want DSS to be a big part of our family as my DD and our DS just love DSS to bits and visa versa

Ex wife has a new man and a new baby

She also refuses to tell us bout ANYTHING.. DSS started 3 yr old kinder thsi yr and we werent informed till we were talking to Ex wife sister and she told us, so we asked ex wife and she sadi yes he was at kinder but she didnt have to tell us anything bout it as it didnt happen in OUR TIME WITH DSS. she also refuses to tell us his doctor and refuses to tell us about anything to do with medicial things.. we heard he was to see a doc in Adelaide about asthma and so we asked Ex wife bout it and she just said i will let you know if i feel you need to know
ARGH its so frastrating
anyway i just wanted to get other peoples opinons on it

[Kitt3n]

if my ex approached me with such a timetable i would be ropeable - simply because in our situation (not just being biased) DD is better off with us. She doesnt WANT to sleep at his house.

So your circumstances are so very, very different to mine.

How close do you all live to each other, would shared care (ie one week with her, one week with you guys) work regarding school etc?

I work with a lady who has been doing this with her son for over 10 years and they have managed to make it work wonderfully.

i just hope you can find a happy medium, nd that the little man is happy with the situation!!

[XRMummy]

We live in a small town and live within 10 mins of each other so we are pretty close... we organially wanted one wek with us and one week with her but everyone we have spoken to has told us they court wouldnt allow it as he is still young maybe try it later on down the track.... The mediaitor we saw back in march said frequent visits was the best for DSS so that is why we have gone the w/e with a over night stay each week.... as for the hols we dont get to take DSS away on holidays as we dont have enough time with him (we live 4 hours from Adelaide and 6 hours from melb ) so it would be nice to be able to go away on a family holiday and be bale to have DSS to join us so it can be a proper family hol IYKWIM?

[Lulu]

It sounds to me like she is trying to tire you out........

what a biatch

[XRMummy]

Yeah i can think of alot nicer words for her LOL IYKWIM????
she can try and tire us out but aint gunna work we are trying to do the right thing by DSS as he is asking us for more sleepovers and so on and she is just trying to make it very very hard
But we have told our solicitor that we wont stop till we get what we feel DSS needs...
Our solicitor has told us it could be very costly around 10 grand but we dont care coz it means DSS will get what he needs/wants... We actually got a letter today from our solcitior saying we start court proceedings on the 11th of this month WAAHOOOOO
we know and so does the solicitor that nothing will be done on that day and taht we will no doubt end up in front of the magistrate and have councilors and so on for both partys
She doesnt have a good record with the court here she was found guilty of insurence fraud last year and den tried to pull a AVO out on DP over an lil disagreement they had (family fotos) and got caught lying under oath and was fined and it was her father that got her found out as he told the truth on the subject and she lied fair so to say she didnt get the AVO she wanted
So hopefully court will be on our side but you never know

[XRMummy]

Well Dp Ex wife has said now that DSS is struggling with the current arrangements (36hr p/fortnight) and also with kinder and this is why she is refusing any extra time with US.... this is the first we have heard of any struggles and the week before we went to court she sent us a letter stating that DSS wasnt making any friends at kinder but he was goin great but now she's saying he is streuggling with things in hsi life and has been for the last 12 months... (see this is the sort of crap we have to contend with SHe tells us nothing) we think she is just tryin to get us to stop asking for more time but our solicitor has adjourned the hearing and has transfered it to the FMC so we can get a family report done and see how DSS is going with things (coz we dont believe a word Ex wife is saying) and due to the Ex not allowing us to have any info from kinder We have arranged a meeting with DSS teacher thro our solivcitor so we will get some answers there too

Anyway just wanted to up date some of you and see wat everyone has has to say on the times we have put forward