Oh Ash, I could have written your post about my IL's. In fact I did just write something similar in my baby buddies group, whinging about the mess and filth they live in. But we very rarely see them, thankfully, they live in Nth Qld and we're in Sydney. We can rarely afford to fly to see them and they refuse to come to Sydney. Is it possible for you to stay with other friends or relatives when visiting? Make an excuse like they have such a full house with themselves and the other children, you didn't want to impose too much, or maybe if your friends have kids you could say you thight it better to stay with people with kids so as not to disturb them so much with a crying baby (iykwim)? Next time we go to our IL's we're staying with a close family friend whose just around the corner from IL's. They have airconditioning, which IL's don't and I can't stand the heat there, I get heat exhaustion and sick, so I have a good excuse. Plus I'll have two babies in the heat too. DD doesn't do the heat well either and was so sweaty and hot in their house.
When we went there recently, with 8 mth old DD, she would come up from crawling around for an hour or so with black hands and tops of her feet from the dirty carpet. Her finger nails were black and she had dust and dirt in all of her creases just from playing as she normally does at home, not even from outside. In fact I think outside would have been cleaner for her!! I follower her everywhere and could not sit down for fear of her eating something disgusting or as Ryn said, getting buried in a pile of cr@p. I'm the same with leaving her with IL's too, I jsut couldn't do it. DH was excited as he wanted to go to the movies and to dinner, but I just couldn't leave her. I kept imagining oming home and she's been in the toilet or eaten a ****roach or something horrible. They just don't have the same thoughts on what hygenic or clean or how to 'look' after a baby- ie run after a crawling bubba.
I can totally understand what you're saying. I love my IL's and they were so TOTALLY smittlen with Lil, and I felt guilty thinking what I did, but I couldn't help it. I am no clean freak, but I am very hygenic. I have clothes on my floors and dishes in the sink, but I DO NOT have ****roaches in the kitchen and DD doesn't come up with dirty hands and feet even at the end of the day....I'm getting chills up my spine thinking about it!!