Sal - thanks for your input, something like thought should hopefully work out well!

Kel - thanks for posting that - was good to read something similar so that i don't feel like such of a b**ch about it all. Is always good to know that someone else has been where you're coming from, so to speak. The black hands and dirt in creases is exactly what i was thinking when i was writing the post.

I still know that to a degree i will get over it because i really don't want to deny them the opportunity to see their grandchild/ren, but all of your feedback has given me ideas about how i might be able to help and avoid the, sticky situation.