Raising a one and only child chat thread.

[MummyNaomi]

Hi Girls, We have one, and I think I have another baby in me so to speak, but DH will need some more convincing as (a) our son was born via IVF and going through that again would be very hard, and (b) our son has hip dysplasia and has spent the last 5 months in a hip brace with one more to go and I think that has my DH very scared about what might happen again

Having only one child worries me in one way: If anything should happen to him, it would make my entire world crumble. I worry about this a lot - does everyone else??

I have thought this, also have thought about what if in many years to come when DH and I have passed on what if DS is left alone in the world without any immediate family - eeeeeeek!

So many things to consider

[Lilly-Pilly]

I'm a mother of an 8 year old DD (turning 9 this year!)
I only had one because at the time circumstances didn't allow more (Left her dad when she was 15 months old)
Now I can honestly say I would not be upset if I never have any more kids. If she was my one and only then I don't think i'd ever regret it, and the older she gets, the more this is confirmed.
Having said that, my now partner has no children, and if he decided he wanted kids then I would probably agree pretty easily, more because I don't think its fair to not let him have that when I do, however, if he didn't want children that wouldn't worry me either.

My DD had 4 extremely close cousins, and some other cousins that aren't as close, but the three boys and one girl (cousins) and DDare as close as ever and are almost like her honaray siblings. We see my nephew at least every second day, and the other three two or three times a week

ETA: I hated being pregnant, i was sick the whole time, spent time in the royal womens, had all sorts of problems and ended with a 32 hour birth. I love that I'm finally working a job i absolutly LOVE and worked my butt off to get there. The idea of 'stopping' all that to take time out to have another baby and to have to be pregnant again scares me alot!

[cheekyfrog]

I'm 42 and feel blessed to have DS. As much as I'd love to give him a brother or sister, that's not going to happen: not in the right sort of relationship, pregnancy with DS was filled with anxieties and I had a couple of m/c beforehand. I worry that I'll be in my 60s and his father will be in his 80s when DS is in his 20s. I also worry that if anything should happen to DS that my world would crumble. I also worry because I'm on my own with DS that something might happen to me and no one would notice for a day or so if it was the weekend for instance and DS would be all on his own. I had a car crash when DS was 9 months old (DS wasn't in the car at the time and was having his first full day at the carers) and I still have nightmares about how it could have been so much worse. I think I may also have a borderline anxiety disorder!

[ElleJay]

Yep, only child raiser here too - though he's still a bub. DH and I would like another, but we've said we're not going to talk bout it till DS is at least 3 yrs old

[Roryrory]

Hi all - just popping in to say hello! As you can see from my sig I have two and one on the way but as an only child I am happy to pop in and offer my "expert opinion" on all things of being an only one (Just kidding!)

But I thought I would share a story with you, told by a mother of an only child to my mother.

Once upon a time a lion and her cub came across a rabbit and her babies in the forest. "Oh!" said the rabbit, "look at all my babies. I have so many babies, and you have only one!". "Yes....I know I have only one," said the lion, worried about offending the rabbit, "...but mine is a lion."

[Nettie]

Glad I'm not the only worrywart!

I'm very grateful at whoever decided to start this thread... I didn't realise until I posted how much I need support in this area. I'm not yet at peace with the decision (if it IS a decision) to have only one... perhaps through talking to all of you I may find some peace!

I don't want to resent DH for procrastinating the decision so long and then even if we wanted to, we couldn't concieve a second

[Jaycee]

Hi ladies

I'm another with only one child and we haven't decided whether there will be another, I am leaning more towards not having anymore, although I know DH is pretty keen on another. DS is 2.5

I'm also grateful for this thread, it may help me come to a decision once and for all. I have my yes days, where I think it'd be nice to have another, but I certainly have more no days than yes days

For me, I have a huge issue with whether or not I could love another child as much as I do DS. I can honestly say that this is my number one show stopper as to why we haven't had any more. I know everyone says that the love just comes, but what if it doesn't? DS is my world and I couldn't imagine feeling that way about another baby.

There are also smaller issues, financial for instance. We are quite comfortable at the moment, our dream house is 2 weeks away from starting to be built and things are good. If I was to stop working money would be tight and that's not a worry I want to have. I've been on the bones of my bum, and I never want to go back. I also like my job and I like working, I don't know if I would be able to handle being a SAHM, which is what would happen if number 2 were to come along.

So these, in a nutshell, are my issues. Thanks for letting me be able to share them in a place where people might understand a little.
xxx

[Butterfly Child]

Im a mother of a 1 year old..i dont see another child in the near future.. i havent found the right person yet who id trust would stick by us.. the thought of having another child scares the hell out of me to as i had a traumatic pregnancy n birth, and the lack of support from a ''partner'' didnt help.

i know deep down theres another baby yet to come one day i hope.. it does upset me that DD wont have that closeness of a brother or sister close in age as i had with my siblings.. this does worry me abit!

[RhiChiChi]

Hey all, ATM we have one DD who is nearly 3 yo but we have been ttc # 2 for nearly 19 months. We decided when TTC that we would have 2 children and they would be close in age, but that is not to be

TBH I am scared of DD being an only child. I grew up with an older sister and younger brother and it was great & it is still great to have all that support around me, plus DD has got a fantastic Aunty & Uncle. My DH grew up an only child & he said it wasn't that bad growing up on his own (he does have 4 half sisters & 3 half brothers but he did not grow up with them)

Sometimes I think perhaps it is better if DD is an only child so I can focus on her & put all my energy & time into her rather than some time into her & the rest ttc..........

Be back later to continue to chat