Page 4 of 7 FirstFirst ... 23456 ... LastLast
Results 55 to 72 of 111

Thread: to the single parents....

  1. #55

    Join Date
    Aug 2003
    Location
    VIC
    Posts
    985

    Default

    Tracey that sounds awful! how could you do that to a child??

    Divvy, it sounds like its all working well for you and the x. Like Tracey said, how are they kids coping with it all? Ash was a little older then Ned when her dad and I spilt up and she's coped with it quite well most of the time.


  2. #56

    Join Date
    Nov 2004
    Location
    Chickens.
    Posts
    4,989

    Default

    Alex had a hard time of it to start with, but is much better now.

    Ned is starting to sleep better, which is super, he only wakes twice or three times a night now, instead of 20+ when I was with XH, and really stressed/anxious.

    Hopefully everything will stay as easy as it is now. I almost think I could have initiated the split earlier if I knew it was this easy!

  3. #57

    Join Date
    Aug 2003
    Location
    VIC
    Posts
    985

    Default

    Divvy, I remember when I split up with Ash's dad my biggest fear was $$ and I was so stressed until I went to centrelink and figured out that yes I could live on my own! After that I thought the same, why did it take so long of me being unhappy to finally do something about it. Everything became so easy and simple (for a while til the nutty girlfriend started her [email protected]!!!!)

    Its like they say, the kids do adjust in the end, really they have no choice do they?? I always say its better to have a happy mum and a (eventually) happy dad seperatley than two unhappy parents together

  4. #58

    Join Date
    Nov 2004
    Location
    Chickens.
    Posts
    4,989

    Default

    ONly if the blimey bloke can actually understand that "I'm NOT coming back" actually means "I'M NOT COMING BACK!!!"

    GRRRRR!

  5. #59

    Join Date
    Aug 2003
    Location
    VIC
    Posts
    985

    Default

    hahaha Divvy. My ex was the same for a few months after we broke up, and when he finally figured it out, he was with a new girl by the end of the week and moved in together after 3 weeks. (the psycho gf everyone has heard about over the past few years)

  6. #60

    Default

    Div, i agree... wish they would just get on with life, like we're trying to do!!

    Well, i have chucked XH out of the house, he was meant to be living at his dad, but everyday found a reason to stay here. So he's only allowed over here in the afternoon, has to leave as soon as the kids are in bed. (by 8pm) That gives me time to jump on BB and relax before anneliese wakes for her 10/11pm feed, then off to sleep. Got a good routine down pat now

  7. #61

    Join Date
    Aug 2003
    Location
    VIC
    Posts
    985

    Default

    Simone, well done to standing your ground on that, its best for everyone when there are clear boundaries i believe.
    How are you and your ex getting along? Are you guys working things out or is it more final??

    Take care of yourself and the kids

  8. #62

    Join Date
    Nov 2004
    Location
    Chickens.
    Posts
    4,989

    Default

    Well done Simone. Make sure it's best for YOU not for HIM!

  9. #63

    Default

    We are going to try counselling, at his insistance, but i have made him agree that if i give it a good shot, and we still arent working things out, that he will leave, no questions asked.

    Either that or i can ask him to leave after Xmas. He just doesnt want to do this to the boys just before xmas.

  10. #64

    Join Date
    Nov 2005
    Location
    Where the heart is
    Posts
    4,360

    Default

    Simone, give yourself and the kids the best Chrissy present they could get...free of that man! You have a choice: stay with him when you know you are at risk and are unhappy, or tell him to leave and get police help etc. You have a choice, girly - that's a good thing, you just have to do it

  11. #65

    Default

    he just makes me feel so guilty for wanting to leave...

  12. #66

    Join Date
    Nov 2005
    Location
    Where the heart is
    Posts
    4,360

    Default

    When he is the one who should feel guilty for not leaving when asked...after all the damage he has done and will continue to do...

  13. #67

    Default

    Im sorry IK, i know you were so happy when i told you he left...

  14. #68

    Join Date
    Nov 2005
    Location
    Where the heart is
    Posts
    4,360

    Default

    Don't be sorry for me - you're not doing it for me, chicky. I'm just in your cheer squad! You answer only to yourself and the kids in the end, no apologies are necessary anywhere else.
    No-one could want to stay in the situation you are in, so it's up to you to get the wheels into motion. Do you know how much it sux that I can't just go in there and say "she's kicking you out, thanks very much for getting yourself out and sorting out the divorce in a civil fashion"? But that's the way it is - you have so much power, but for now you are choosing not to use it - find it and use it, if that's what you want to do
    It IS frustrating that you keep taking him back, but I'm not going to leave you in the cold and stop talking to you! You'll just have to put up with me repeating myself!
    You're a great single parent, too - you do what other women would shudder to think about, and you do it very well. I know it's no walk in the park, so to you and the other girlies here, and

  15. #69

    Default

    Thanks IK. After Xmas im going to have another chat with him, even if i have to move out... i have that help number on my fridge, and the number for a shelter...

  16. #70

    Join Date
    Aug 2003
    Location
    VIC
    Posts
    985

    Default

    Simone, just like IK says, its a desciion you have to make for yourself, and although i dont completely know your situation, i've just followed your story in bits and pieces here on BB, from what i have heard/read, I personally agree that leaving your partner is the best thing for you and your kids. My best friend was in a sitaution sililar to yours and it was hell to sit back and watch her get hurt over and over and be put through so much [email protected]

    Thank god its all over with her now, but we just worry about friends when they are in situations like this

    You know we'll do anything to help, just stya strong, you don't need to be with someone like him

    Take care

    By the way, Where is Kellie??????

  17. #71

    Default

    I haven't seen Kellie in a while...

    Im at a point in my life where i feel so deflated i just cant be bothered. I know that seems awful, and makes me seem like a bad mum who doesn't care about her kids, but ive just had enough. I love my kids more than anything, but i just dont feel strong enough to leave anymore. I have no family over here, a few IRL friends, and im just so worn down some days i feel like giving up...

  18. #72

    Join Date
    Aug 2003
    Location
    VIC
    Posts
    985

    Default

    Simone, your not a bad mum at all! Stop being so hard on yourself! Its sad for you as a person, not a wife, not a mum, but you, that you feel so 'stuck' in that place. I do understand though, life can be tough, and being a single mum, esspecially with three little ones is even tougher. Having no family is hard too. I stayed with Ashlea's dad for longer than i should have because it was easier to put up with the crap and being unhappy than to make such a huge change. I personally couldn't be happier than when I finally kicked him out.

    Everyone just wants you to be happy because you deserve to be

Page 4 of 7 FirstFirst ... 23456 ... LastLast

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •