maybe there needs to be a big blow up so everyone can move on kwim? Get absolutely everything out in the open so everyone knows exactly where they stand with each other. She clearly shows you no respect and that wont change at all unless you stand up to her - your DH really needs to talk to her too, to show that yep, she's his mum but you are his wife and the mother of his child and he supports you 100% and your needs come before hers now that he is an adult with a family of his own. Her attitude at the wedding was absolutely disgraceful and purely so she could bignote herself when the entire family was watching and to do that to you and make you look like a numpty is unforgivable IMO because she will do it every time you all get together.