LaDeeDah Oh I'm so angry for you!!! When reading your post i gasped so loud especially about your ds falling on the spoon that my dh came in asking what was wrong!! eeks... Just want to say I'm glad your DH is going to try to talk some sense into them...

Toomany- two thumbs up for such an eloquent opinion! I thought that too but would never have been able to verbalise it the way you did.

And I like how heather has suggested you give them options, that way it doesn't sound like it's your way or the highway (though it shouldn't matter cause you're MUM but it comes across better to the IL's)
Let us know how it goes! I'll be thinking about you for the rest of the day now!