Any suggestions???

[nurse86]

Thankyou for your msg, Sally2, sorry for the late reply.

I didnt know that same sex couples could access IVF in melbourne, I thought u had to have fertility problems. I also was unaware that medicare offers a rebate. Guess I gotta get up to date with Victorian law.

Thanks for the information. Did you and ur partner concieve the first time?

Have you decided on what your baby will call u both (ie mum/mumma etc) and which surname your baby will have?

Nurse 86

[Sally2]

Yeah, the new law changes are making a HUGE difference already and they aren't even in yet!!
I believe the policy's change from clinic to clinic, so my recommendation would definitely be Melbourne IVF as they have been amazing for us You will need to see a specific specialist who is connected to Melbourne IVF. We had no idea who anyone was so rang Royal Womens Hospital who gave us the name of our specialist.

We were so so so lucky, my partner conceived on our very first round of IVF. We had six eggs harvested, only one fertilised and that's the little sticky baby that she is brewing right now! She will be the 'tummy mummy' for all our kids as I have no interest in being pregnant, just in being a Mum at the end of it all and sharing her pregnancy journey. I figure i'm more useful cooking for her while she does all the hard work
I think she will be Mum or Mummy and I will be Mama ( we share the same first name, so that limits our choices a bit ) but I think these things evolve on their own, whatever our kids call us will be their own choices. The last name will be a hyphenation of our last names, as you can put whatever last name you like on the birth certificate.

Sorry, I ramble on a bit, it's just that we are soooo excited and I'm completely addicted to these forums! I love having this gay and lesbian thread, it's really cool to be connected to other families that are going through the same journey that we are! Although if we go shopping in one more baby store with one more sales assistant that says ' And where is the father' I might scream. Though it's something we need to get used to...

[kate28]

Hi nurse86 and Sally. My partner and I are also in Vic and had to overcome all the obstacles that brings.

Nurse86, the law changes still haven't come through yet so you have to be declared clinically infertile before you can access any fertility treatment. There is a home insemination program operating through Melbourne IVF which allows you to bank known donor sperm and take it home to inseminate but you have to factor in a 6 month quarantine period after you have found a donor and deposited his sperm before you can proceed with any cycles.

Everything (costs, lead up times, legalities) depends on which road you want to follow (as Amazing Race puts it, "each with their own pros and cons!"). We travelled to City Fertility Centre in Brisbane to start our TTC adventure. We did 4 rounds of IUI and after learning that our donor's statistics weren't going to cut it, we went to IVF and got pregnant on the second IVF transfer (a frozen cycle). Between our two IVF cycles though we signed up to start IVF with Melb IVF with a new donor but fortunately we didn't have to proceed with that treatment. Although now, we have to travel up to brisbane again should my partner wish to conceive the second child with the same donor. After all the dramas, we might just be content with the one! If you ever want to do IVF or IUIs at either of those clinics, I'm happy to help you with any q's you have. I really could have used some advise at the time myself!

Sally, congrats to you and your partner. I was at a prospective lesbian parenting group meeting on saturday (maybe you were there too??) and we talked about setting up a playgroup for new lesbian mums. There are rainbow family playgroups already in existence but they are more geared to older children so we should start one for the newbies like us. I'm due in October but there are a couple of new babies already in existence that should start getting together soon.

Oh well all the best to you both and I look forward to hearing how things go.

Kate

[Sally2]

Hi Kate
The playgroup idea sounds fantastic, are you guys in Melbourne or Country? We've ( hopefully ) got two other couples that might be conceiving around now as well, so a new babies group sounds like a fantastic idea. I will leave my email on your profile page.

Nurse 86, we investigated the known donor sperm storage that Melbourne IVF are running, but the only real benefit is that you know the sperm is tested for STI's and HIV and you can access it when you want, instead of waiting for a 'home visit' at his convenience. Unfortunately, the donor could sue for paternity rights if he wanted as he's not classed as an anonymous donor with no legal rights. At a maybebaby meeting we went to, there was a couple who had just had their donor win 50% custody of their son, even though he had gone through the clinic and they thought they were covered legally. Really scary stuff, as they didn't know him well at all and now he is responsible for raising their son and takes him three nights a week.

If you want to chat more privately, leave a message on our profile page with your email address, as there is more information available with regard to accessing IVF with anonymous sperm as a lesbian without medical infertility. I totally agree with Kate, I wish that there was more advice around when we were trying to find out more info about all of this! We should write an Australian version of The ultimate guide to pregnancy for lesbians