I was actually going to say that it sounds a little bit like a red flag with the chosen donor and his wife.
Our donor is my girls bestie of 20 years, (gay). He has no partner and will be known as Dad. I have known him for 8 years and we have already had complications arrising that we have had to bump on the head immediately with his family etc. I can't imagine him having a partner too.
I hope it happens very quickly for you... It did for us. We did home insem and it worked first cycle.
It's a very exciting road to be on...
If we did it over again we would have gone the same route however we would have sat down with his family and made sure he explained all the details to them as he hasn't.

Sounds bad but when we decided on him, we did so because he owns his own company and travels the world on business for around 5 months a year. he would be a donor but be known as Dad as we wouldn't like to fib to our child...
So my family and my girls would be the "childs family".... His family, who live 8 hrs away are saying things like we will spend every christmas with them at their house blah blah blah. Which is never going to happen.

So there have been some tears and there will possibly be more.
It's like all family planning though, gay or straight, everyone has an opinion and a say.

I hope things really work out for you. How exciting....!