I know I posted this in my other thread, but I just can't help it. My DP had finally come around to wanting to start TTC right away, and I gleefully messaged our donor friend, who has been on side with us for the past year or two...only to be intercepted by his now wife, who wants to wait until THEY have children!

We understand completely, (at least I think I do) but it's just so frustrating. We chose him because he is a very dear lifelong friend of ours and as an added bonus, his father was adopted, so he believes firsthand that family is the people who raise and love you, not necessarily who you are born to. He also has the mindset that our children will be our children, and not his. His wife, who is extremely lovely and caring, please don't get me wrong, isn't as easily able to think like this, and sent me a message saying she wants to be a mum to him first.

I understand where she's coming from, I really do, and I understand that it's absolutely huge for her to be able to see him through this in the first place! I'm just a little bit sad that things changed so quickly when we said we wanted to start TTC in a few months, as opposed to a few years.

Donor sperm is so low in Australia that I don't think it'll be any quicker if we decide to find someone else, either...

Just needing a vent space! Has anything like this happened to you?