Rouge, I have to admit that I read your first line, threw a minor tantrum myself, ran away and grumped and then came back to read the thread in full.

I guess it's the perspective I have from the influences in my life. My in-laws did the cloth nappies, extended BF, carried their kids in back packs rather than prams and did BLS. They also forced their children into a very structured routine from day one and have always practived controlled crying. In that house it's very much children should be seen and not heard and obedience is valued above all. The closest place I've seen those things that are usually deemed to be part of gentle parenting has been far from gentle at all.

We FF, use disposables, Sam rides in the pram and eats mush... and it often seems that simply doing that disqualifies us from being gentle parents. But, we do those things because they are what suits us as a family and because it's what Sam likes and prefers.

Like BG we're fairly new in the game. But we've talked to Sam like an adult since he was born. We always tell him WHY we're doing things. If he gets into something we say no, ask for it back and then tell him why it's not for Sam. No success on that front yet as he keeps going back to it, but distracting him with something else is working and hopefully the words will make some sort of sense to him eventually! We've always followed the theory that if he's crying he needs something - even if it's just a cuddle, and I'm very pleased to say that we haven't had too many crying fits of unknown source that we've not been able to fix. Sam gets fed when he's hungry, gets put to sleep when he's tired and gets up when he's had enough sleep... we've just been very blessed with an incredibly predictable baby who's put himself into a nice, regular routine.

BW