Hi Bx, IMO you are doing a fantastic job!

I think consistency (not sending mixed messages) is so important for little ones. There is far less overall crying/distress for everyone if the child is given a clear loving and balanced framework to work within and knows what is expected of them. Of course there are times when you need to be flexible, like when they are sick or adapting to something new and I’m sure you would be.

I really think you should stick to your guns on this one and try to explain to your XP why the approach you are using is important. I know communication about these sorts of things is very hard. My DH and I clash on things like this often and I find it really, really hard to communicate with him about it so I can only imagine with an XP it would be even more difficult (for so many reasons). I guess just take one step at a time with him and don’t overwhelm him with too much information/too many concepts at once.