beckoe's - sorry if my comment seemed a bit harsh, it was directed to some of the other post in this thread as much as your own original post. I understand that you don't want to be judgemental, and personally I sympathise - I have family whom parent their children in such a completely different fashion that I sometimes hesitate to call it parenting. But it is not my place (or anyone elses to judge this) and any problem I have with it, is my own problem. It just threw me that your question was along the line of "how do I stop judging?" And some of the responses you got were so judgemental in themselves.