Now, see, I am not going to be DS's "friend" until he has moved out. I like him, I hope he likes me. I want to be his confidant... but he will never be mine. I guess I had a "friend" mum - she off-loaded onto me how crap her husband and children were, she had no rules so all sorts of "bad" things happened (eg allowing young teens to sleep over at boyfriends, no curfews, out at the pub all night every night even schoolnights...) and of course that is not what I want for DS. I am his parent. I am not his boss, I am not his "lord and master"... his parent.

I guess I want us to treat each other with the respect and admiration with which we treat our friends, but ultimately he isn't my friend. I don't want to sound harsh with that, but I'm not going to get drunk, slag him off or not impose boundaries so I am liked. I will explain those boundaries (and "because I said so" is never an explaination) and they will be open to negotiation whenever possible, but I'm still the parent.

Does that make sense?