When I was pregnant with my son, my MW just assumed that since I liked evidence based birth, I would also choose evidence based parenting. And I did! The more I read about how babies and children function, emotionally and physically, and how important physical contact is for them, there seemed no other logical way. So I parent in a way which is appropriate to my son's age and abilities, guided by his innate knowledge of himself and his ability to guide us to support him.

I breastfeed because the benefits to mothers and babies are clearly shown through years of research and study. I cosleep because as with breastfeeding, it enhances physical and emotional health both for parents and children. I wore him in a sling because after spending all that time inside me it just didn't seem right to keep him at arm's length. He has never been, and will never be, left to cry. If you breastfeed and cosleep, and understand how babies brains are wired for sleep, you don't perceive night waking as a problem but as a normal part of their growth. But waking to feed a child who is in the next room would have had me dead in a few months so to sustain him and our breastfeeding relationship, he's been in my bed since the day he was born. He woke every 2 hours all night to be fed until he was 10 months old. Except when he was teething or growing and then it was hourly LOL. He'll move out when he's ready! I treat him with respect and we have a no smacking policy in our home. We made every effort to create a "yes" environment so when he was exploring his surroundings, he couldn't injure himself and we never had to try and teach him stuff he wasn't able to understand, such as why electrical leads are out of bounds but toys are ok. He doesn't get the difference LOL. We talk a lot about being gentle now that he's older and beginning to understand more but we don't shame him for being a 2 year old, and we don't meet physical behaviour with physical threats. I've never understood how hitting is supposed to teach children not to hit. So I'm a socalled gentle parent now living with a 2 year old who's learning to push boundaries, and who has emotional meltdowns more than twice a day LOL. It's ok though because I know it's a normal part of his development, he's learning about strong emotions and what to do with them. We just support him through his tanties and he comes out the other side smiling again even if I'm a little deafer...

I feel when I parent that I'm not just parenting a child, I'm helping grow a future adult who with my help and support will be emotionally functional. I also feel great hope about this from seeing the results of older children around me who are similarly parented. I haven't found parenting to be the difficult and unrewarding task that so many people seem to find and I firmly believe that it's because we don't fight his biology, we nurture it. Much easier to understand and accept, say night waking, than to somehow force your child to sleep in a way that is unnatural and unhealthy for them. Parenting doesn't stop when the sun goes down