I'm also one for not fighting at dinner time, I just don't see that it is worth it. We are just winding him up at a time of night we want everyone to be calm & my DH & I like to enjoy our meal also.
At that age they seem to want to push things a bit more also, our DS has been doing so in the past couple weeks as he's understanding so much more now.
I keep up the good foods during the day, I make lots of things so they are preservative free etc & offer only water etc...then at dinner time if he's hungry he will eat, if he's not he wont. But it's all about timing also, I know when he's most hungry. If it looks like DH will not be home in time I will serve DS dinner up early & then he's welcome to sit with us when we eat or go off & play.
I always make a point of serving a plate up for him so he know's we'd like him to eat what we are eating, but then I don't force it. Sometime's he'll try, sometimes not at all & in the even he wants something else its a sandwich or banana......that's it. As he still has milk at bed I know he's not going hungry & if I give too many choices he'll play on that.
If we are having a nice meal & he hasn't eaten anything & gets down from the table we let that go also, as it's a massive war otherwise & we just want to keep things calm at that time of night. We don't have the telly on so he usually just wanders around us playing with some toys or books. As long as he sits up when we do & see's that he's got a plate of food. To make it fun he has a place mat with the alphabet & animals on it & he get's his own cup with ice & water in it like Mummy & Daddy.
I think at the end of the day if your child is not flat out refusing to eat all day or not just choosing really crappy foods then don't stress. We all have to adapt to different things, I think we push dinner as we are used to sitting to have that main meal we expect them to also. But they often have smaller appetites or snack more during the day. So don't stress.
Skeetaboat, sounds like the average 2.5yo. And you guys sound like you're doing a great job.
I'm also not a fan of battles at dinner (shame DH is - meals are so much more peaceful with ihm on night shift).
Mine's a bit older than your little guy, but when she was smaller I offered an alternative, and it was never really planned - it was just what I had.
Now she's older, she knows if she doesn't try to eat some of what is offered she goes to bed without - no big deal though.
She tells us if she has had enough. I offer veges etc throughout the day too.
It's a stage of testing the boundaries - and no child will starve themselves.
DD is a fair bit younger, but we took part in a 2-step study on solids and nutrition (step 1 was around 5-6months and looked at starting solids, and step 2 was around 14mths, and looked at the toddler stages) Anyway, one of the key messages was "parent provides, child decides" So basically, if you're offering a healthy meal, and they don't want to eat, then don't stress - no child in a loving, caring family has become malnourished after not eating one meal. You might worry that its been a couple of nights that he's gone to bed with no dinner, but I'm sure he'll be fine! If he's really hungry, he'll eat, and by being consistent that there's no other option, he might only go another night or 2 and then start eating because he'll know that thats all he's getting! And don't forget that kids are a lot more in tune to their hungry/full signals - I know I'll eat because its lunch/dinner/afternoon tea time and that has nothing to do with whether I'm hungry, whereas DD will only eat when she's hungry.
I think the idea of a bigger meal at lunch might be good too.
I used to give DD1 a 'tasting plate' for dinner and she just ate what she wanted from it - I would do different things each day but there would be a selection of pasta, cheese, fruit, vegetables, chickpeas etc presented like an antipasto platter. She loved it but would choose to eat different things depending on what she felt like.
Now she loves 'helping' to cook dinner so involving her in the preparation also really helped her eat more - they are less likely to refuse something they have helped to make.
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