Tegan, I know what you mean - but what price can you put on bringing your baby into the world in the most peaceful way available? You will remember it always - and it isn't just for you - it is money spent on your baby.
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I just found out our private health insurance (Teachers Federation health Fund) covers private midwives which is interesting as it sounds like other funds don't. (not that I actually need it but if any of you are teachers or have parents who are it would be worth joining.)
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Tegan, I know what you mean - but what price can you put on bringing your baby into the world in the most peaceful way available? You will remember it always - and it isn't just for you - it is money spent on your baby.
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i dont really see how me training to be a doula eliviates my fear of a home birth? Ive never done it before, i dont know anyone who has done it before IRL. Ive had 2 pretty hard labours which also adds to my fear. I suppose its not having it at home in itself but more if one of the complications arise that happened before, what will happen then? Its just a fear of the unknown, like i said.
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For those of you who are apprehensive about whether spending the kind of money you'd spend on a homebirth is "selfish", then consider it an investment in your baby's future. The research clearly and overwhelmingly shows that, for women who have had a normal pregnancy, homebirth has better outcomes than hospital birth. Homebirth has been proven by numerous studies to be "as safe" as hospital birth, but in addition, with a much lower risk of interventions such as vaccuum extraction, forceps, or the need for caeserean section.
Tegan - for many women, one of the biggest hurdles to overcome in contemplating a homebirth is negative previous experience of birth. A hospital birth, with its inherent interventions and complications, saps at a woman's confidence in her own ability. It may help to remember that there is also a body of research out there that suggests that the majority of the complications that occur during a hospital birth are a by-product of the hospital - inexperienced midwives, poor management by the maternity team, overbearing obstetric registrars, interventions that aere not necessary, such as induction for "post dates" when the dates have been worked out using older methods that have since been superseded, and the emotional stress - both conscious, and subconscious - that results from upping sticks from your comfortable home environment and driving to a less comfortable hospital. Remove all of these factors, return the natural process of birth to its natural place at home, and the complications that occurred last time simply don't occur at home.
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I also think don't think that spending the money is selfish. I agree, it is an investment in my physical and emotional health, my babies health and the wellbeing of my family. I know that with a homebirth, because of the amount of education pertaining to informed choice that is being provided to me by my MW, that I have the best possible chance for the birth I want and can be empowered no matter what happens because I have all the information and a care provider I trust.
[QUOTE=Schmickers;961525]Not to be narky, but is this because babies are born differently in Australia, to the rest of the world?QUOTE]
The concersation was in relation to the UK where home births are more the norm, & more supported. Concerns in Oz being lack of access to private midwives, the high (and often prohibitive) cost of hiring them, the general discouragement of family and friends because it isn't seen as the norm, distances in Australia to hospitals if things do go wrong (we dont all live in the 'burbs)...shall I continue?
Gosh, i thought this was a general chatter thread about homebirth, is it now going to turn into another debate about how homebirth is potentially unsafe!? There are many obstacles to homebirth, or indeed any birth the way the WOMAN want it, and Tegan said perhaps she needed more reassurance, rather than a debate.
Tegan you can email me off board if you like? Then you can get to know me better and you can easily know me nearly-IRL (i'm in the UK so vists might be harder) before bubs is born. I have never had a hospital birth, but i have been present at one (my SIL's) which was a long induction/posterior baby/traumatic delivery so i have seen to some extent how frightening these things can be.
The way we birth should be about how we WANT to birth - yes, many homebirthers have to overcome fear, but it is not hard because they feel strongly about it. I DID NOT WANT to go to hospital unless medically necessary. The system you're working with, having to find an independant midwife, having to pay $$$ for it, conspire to make homebirth seem different/abnormal and make you feel bad and that maybe you should do the normal thing and go to hospital (i sympathise there - as much as it is supported in the uk, only 1% of babies are actually born at home here). But your desire to birth out of the hospital setting is NOT abnormal, the system which doesn't comprehend and support this desire is the abnormal thing. Most animals want to feel safe and secure to birth, it is a competely normal desire.
So if you find when the time comes to pay $$ you are still very unsure that homebirth is for you, that's ok, maybe it ISN'T for you. I have a friend who had an elective c-section because of the way her time was scheduled (she felt waiting for a natural birth was out of the question) and i would NEVER contemplate that, but how can i judge her? She did what she felt was right at the time - that is all our children can ask of us, and all we should demand of ourselves. You do what you feel is right, and know you did your best. Yeah, sure, it could go wrong, but hindsight is 20/20 in EVERY situation. Personally knowing womens bodies work just fine (and having IRL friend's who'd homebirthed years before i fell PG) i knew that homebirth was the safest option for a long time before giving birth and i can't tell you how many horrible hospital birth stories i hear when i can pinpoint the things that happened that drove it all off course.
You will know nearer the time, further on in your research what you might want to risk and what you might not want to risk. If you decide homebirth isn't for you that's great - we have to know what we want in order to get it.
Bec
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Thankyou hoobley. I think i will email you. Maybe on the weekend as i'm starting a new job tomorrow!
I have had a thought more about this and i do want it. it's just my fears from mainly DD's birth arising in me again. It happened while i was in labour with DS and i think that's why my labour was so long and kept stopping/starting. So I think i just need to overcome these fears and then i will feel a whole lot better about everything. I thought i was over it all, but i guess i'm not. I'm glad i have 8 months to think through it all!
♥ BellyBelly's Creator ♥
Tegan, why dont you look into calmbirthing or hypnobirthing classes to help deal with your fears? I agree that it can be the most gentle, beautiful way to bring a baby into the world but if you cant deal with your own fear and anxieties then its not the best place to give birth... we all know what too much adrenaline does.
You have time up your sleeve, meet some IM's, attend the homebirth conference if you can (Sheila Kitzinger there this year) and try some classes as above. Knowledge, information and support is power.
Kelly xx
Creator of BellyBelly.com.au, doula, writer and mother of three amazing children
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I would love to go to some hypnobirthing classes but there just isn't any around here. i've been looking and jut can't seem to find any near me.
♥ BellyBelly's Creator ♥
There are a few around Newcastle, Maitland and the Central Coast. Look on the calmbirth register.
Kelly xx
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Oh thankyou so much Kelly! Maitland is only a suburb away, so i will be definatly ringing her soon.
Hi Hoobly, dont get me wrong...I was just a bit cross about Smickers comment re are babies born differently in Australia....I am really keen on learning more about homebirth. In reading birth stories published here and on other sites, they just seem like the most comfortable births for mums without time limits and unnecessary intervention. You are very lucky that the UK is so supportive of homebirthing, I wish is was the case here. I´m sorry if I sounded like I was against them, just felt a bit patronised - but this medium is tricky for taking things the wrong way. I love your photo of your little girl BTW.
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Babylove, I think you will find that Schmickers was being mildly sarcastic. He is very much a supporter of homebirths. And I'm sure he was patronising you.
Tegan, as you work through your doula course you will do a reflective practise. Perhaps you can use this to your advantage and work through the issues you still have with Lily's birth. Maybe this will provide you with some healing and also help you to decide once and for all if a homebirth is really what you want.
It is totally normal btw to feel apprehensive. I mean, no matter where we birth we have some sort of fear deep down inside. It's merely the fear of the unknown. Now, whether you birth in a hospital, at home, or on a plane no one can predict the outcome. However, that said, we all know that we are more likely to recieve more intervention in a hospital setting. Sure intervention does have it's place when required. But in most births it simply isn't neccessary.
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Hi all, I had DS in a private hospital and as I like to say, despite this (and the fact that I was made to lie on my back while birthing a posterior baby and hooKed to machines) I managed to deliver him vaginally without pain relief or assistance. I also got to 9cm on my own before arriving at the hospital so know I can do birth "well" IYKWIM. As soon as (and just before) DS was born I regretted my care choices and was sorry I wasn't at a Family Birth Centre. So baby #2 is due to be born at the Mercy FBC but I have always joked that if this one goes well I will end up with a homebirth for baby number 3. Now as the birth approaches I am more keen on a HB than ever for our next, but the kicker for me is the expense. Stupid I know, especially when I paid around $3k for my OB with DS#1, but it is crazy how expensive it is. I don't mean that those attending shouldn't be paid (far from it!!) but it is crazy that I should have to pay for a model of care that is actually less stress (all going well, which it should) on the public health system than a hospital birth. And I totally agree on it being an investment in mine and my baby's health.
Sounds like I am trying to convince myself huh? I shall enjoy the discussion - hopefully in a couple of years I will be planning a HB myself
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Rory, I totally agree with you. It's funny though, as you said, women seem to have no issue whatsoever handing over around $3,000 for an OB, who will supposidly give them a better birth in a hospital setting. They feel safe with this option. But, when it comes time to hand over $3,00 to an Independant midwife we baulk. Now, I know it's not because we don't feel them worth the money, nor is it that we don't think the do as good or even a better job than an OB. Perhaps it's again the unknown. We pay this money out and then there is still the chance we will require a transfer to hospital and maybe even a c section. Still, for me, the support and backup I get from my midwife is worth all of that.
Maybe we need to follow the UK and have HB's be a normal everyday occurance, and one that the government actually helps to pay for. It sure would take some of the strain off our already over crowded medical and hospital system.
it's interesting cos i imagined that doulas and midwives must be really confident about HB! I never imagined that they would have the same doubts and fears that i have- My fears are the exact same- that if my labour progresses the way it did last time then i can't imagine birthing at home at all.... but i figured that my lack of confidence was becuase of my lack of knowledge... seems not! LOL! It's probably rude but i feel a little better that someone with HB training shares the same fears when it comes to doing it themselves.
I'm not sure how to best overcome my doubts either. JUST DO IT! seems to be my current motto.
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I think what convinced me the most about homebirth was the statistics on maternal and infant outcomes (just as good if not better than the hospital) combined with the stories that I heard from other mums. I have NEVER heard a mother say she regretted her homebirth! I've only heard of ones who say it was wonderful, they will never go back to the hospital for birth, and it was the best thing they've done. There's got to be something good about it if everyone is loving it! So I decided to go for it. And yes, I am nervous. But as others have mentioned, every birth is a little scary, and I am confident in the caregivers I have, and looking forward to a good birth.
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