Aw, big hugs, Arimeh. You have plenty of time in the future to talk to your DDs about the various birth journeys you've had and why this one isn't what you hoped for, or would wish for them. They're still young enough that the short-term memory will fade, but the way you talk about birth (once you've had time to process everything) will make a much more lasting impression. I know the biggest message I took from birth from my mother was her constant re-telling of my (somewhat traumatic and difficult) birth and not the relatively easy births she had after mine. And I still ended up here! So don't stress, you haven't scared/scarred them for life. You, on the other hand, have a lot more to deal with.

Sterla - welcome! Sounds like you'd be a great candidate for HB and to have a m/w you already know is a bonus. Having DD1 at DD2's birth was fantastic. Being at home after the birth is another plus and I think it really helps everyone bond together. I know I really felt the difference between my two births not leaving home. Our family seemed more of a unit immediately.

I'm not intending to have DD2 at this bub's birth at this stage. She's too young and too emotional. Either she'd want to get in the pool with me or she'd be upset watching me or both. I tried watching a birthing video on YouTube with her, a very mild one, and she started getting upset as the baby was coming out, even with minimal fuss! I think it'll all happen while she's asleep upstairs anyway, and she can just toddle in when she wakes up and meet her new sister. She looooooves babies and that will amuse her no end. Then I can pass baby to Daddy and give her a bf and her day will progress as normal, just with the added interest of a little sister. Fx!