hun. I guess I can see the point of the letter but i don't think she went the right way about it- I think she was stressing how important it is to have a midwife, but instead of just saying that she used unecessary scare tactics. Which I really think you didn't need to hear because your distressed enough as it is about the situation. Stop doubting yourself hun, if anyone was capable of birthing on your own it'd be you. Trust your body and i'm sure if you thought something was not right you could call an ambulance. So now you've got to think whether forking out the money for a midwife who may not make it is worth it? Also if you are not comfortable with this midwife are there any other IM in the area that you could use that may not be as expensive. Either that or you can come live with me for the last month of the pregnancy and use my IM, she only charges per hour + fee for the paper work. Sorry im not very helpful you are usually the one with the wise words!
Oh Tegam- I'm sorry you've been left feeling doubt in yourself.
TBH I'm not really surprised by her reply. I think overall she sounds really lovely and supportive but I think she would feel it important in a written, recorded conversation to remind you of the role of trained birth attendents and the responsibilities you take on board if you choose to birth without them.
She has said she could provide pre & postnatal care (just potentially not immediately post-natally) if you want so I'd personally still be interested in having her involved if you want... unless you found her antenatal appointments became fear-mongering sessions.
She doesn't seem to get what you're up against with the hospital system BUT they can't force an induction or hospital stay so as she says, you could use them for pre & post-natal care if you want and just plan to turn up in labour (should you make it there) and your birth should be quick so they shouldn't have time to intervene. Or you could still just plan not to turn up.
At the end of the day, choosing a freebirth is about taking full ownership and responsibility for the birth. No-one can give you permission or approval for that- that would be contradictory as giving approval holds a certain ownership IYKWIM and no-one can own this but you. And that's beautiful! I've only just started to come around to the power of that myself... I realised I was still placing ownership of this birth with my IMs but it's much more empowering to claim it for myself.
All the bestand keep chatting it out!
!
I had a great day today... had a second adjustment with the chiro and I'm feeling pretty well. Also had an appointment with a homeopeth and she was fab- loved her! Wetalked for ages about my last birth, postnatal, this pregnancy etc and she gave me something to take now and I'll go back next week to get a birth kit of remedies from her. I've never seen a homeopath before and it was such a lovely, nurturing experience 
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