Tash, talking frankly...i've had the *nice cosy hotel style room* of a private hospital for DD1. and yeah, it looked really nice and had all the bells and whistles, but trust me, it doesnt feel nice. you are not in your own space. you still have randoms walking in, telling you when and where and how (from peads, to cleaners to bazillions of midwives). there is nothing comfortable or cosy about it I'm afraid. the cosiest place to be is in your own bed with your baby lying on your chest so that you can just explore their little bodies and smell and cuddles while your midwife, husband are sitting at the kitchen table chowing down on some yummy homecooked meal. for me, that is the most cosiest and precious time. gentle and quiet and respectful IYKWIM.
J
Part of me feel seduced by the idea of a cosy hotel like hospital room with room service etc and I start to feel what am i doing? I've paid PHI for years, why aren't we using it to use a private hospital?
I just can't get past how lovely it is to have our ante-natal appointments in our own lounge room. Currently our PHI may cover a homebirth (we have to write for approval). The midwife is now covered by medicare, so we'll get some cash back there too. Remind me again how great homebirth is again. I could stil spend $$$ for a private OB and hospital and still have a crap birth, yes? I've heard those stories too.
Cassius - that's interesting you set things up with the mum and bub unit before hand. Where are mum and bub units anyway? I might get your therapists contact details off you. We have a very good shrink, but he's all for the medicalised model of obstetrics and it's doing my head in. Last time he suggested we have a paed in the room at the birth. DH loves this idea. I freaked, including having nightmares about people taking my baby off me. I am getting the baby on my chest after birth and no one is taking him or her away from me. Obviously that's a major trigger for meI think I'd rather just find a quiet den when it comes to my birthing time and hide from the world until bub's born.
And yeah, of course there are the horror private stories (i was one of them afterall). i wont go into it as I think you probably already know what it was like for me (i have also added a new section to DD1s birth story to give some insight into that journey afterwards). but in answer to your question i honestly believe with no maliciousness in my heart that one places themselves more at risk of having a crap birth by going private then they do of staying at home...or even by going public. for example, a public hossy is better equipped and more flexible for more interesting birth scenarios (ie breech birth)...a private hossy will never allow it.
and you know, there is always a way to find a happy balance for you and DH to achieve both your dreams and wishes for the birth. start exploring and talking to people that might know (for example) of say (hypothetically speaking of course) a paed that could work in close contact with your IM. i am sure i heard of someone that used to do that Hawthorn way (but this was quite awhile ago if i remember correctly)...get the feelers out and see if this could work. but TBH your IM and her backup can handle what she has to if there is a need to transfer, trust in that process
my psychologist is a gem. and i would be more than happy to pass on her details. we still keep in close contact as she just genuinely loves her job and sharing in our journey. she is also totally clued in and specialises in all things birth and baby related (her speciality is birth trauma, pnd, AND and grief). she is AMAZING. i'll PM you
mama was transferred HB and of course her and bubs are/were a bit shagged after it all and they needed a bit of a helping hand as hossy wasnt going to let her go home until her milk came in so they organised with the hossy to discharge if they could get some donated EBM...and that's where i came in 
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