Just needed to pop back in here as I'm starting to feel a bit like a weirdo. Everyone I know goes to private OBs and private hospitals and think I'm weird to want to go to the public hospital (we're not admitting IRL we're considering a HB this time), especially given what we've been through. If I could have all private midwife appts at home for my ante natal care and then transfer to a private hospital with a guaranteed private room and nicer meals I would, but we cant do that without paying $$ for an OB.

Part of me feel seduced by the idea of a cosy hotel like hospital room with room service etc and I start to feel what am i doing? I've paid PHI for years, why aren't we using it to use a private hospital?

I just can't get past how lovely it is to have our ante-natal appointments in our own lounge room. Currently our PHI may cover a homebirth (we have to write for approval). The midwife is now covered by medicare, so we'll get some cash back there too. Remind me again how great homebirth is again. I could stil spend $$$ for a private OB and hospital and still have a crap birth, yes? I've heard those stories too.

Tegam -I am so sorry you didn't get the birth you want. I dont know if writing it out would help at all. For us, no matter what kind of birth we have, our IM is essential. Wouldn't do it without her. She kicked butt on our behalf at DS's birth. I know we wouldnt have got the birth we did without her.

Cassius - that's interesting you set things up with the mum and bub unit before hand. Where are mum and bub units anyway? I might get your therapists contact details off you. We have a very good shrink, but he's all for the medicalised model of obstetrics and it's doing my head in. Last time he suggested we have a paed in the room at the birth. DH loves this idea. I freaked, including having nightmares about people taking my baby off me. I am getting the baby on my chest after birth and no one is taking him or her away from me. Obviously that's a major trigger for me I think I'd rather just find a quiet den when it comes to my birthing time and hide from the world until bub's born.