Homebirth General Discussion #6

[Cassius2]

Oh Eutra it is such a hard time ATM, and on top of that all the pg hormones (which are valid!) are adding to the stress. that it will all be sorted before your birthing time (i have full belief that all will be fine).

[*Ash*]

Eutra. I truly hope your fears are unfounded. But, I am worried too. I have not found an IM yet. I am nearly 16 wks, so I know there is time. But I am feeling demoralised and worried. I can see why some IM's are giving away 'homebirthing'. I really don't blame them - what a horrible climate to be working in.
I really hope all is well with your midwife professionally and that she is merely suffering from a cold rather than harrassment and intimidation.

[Tegam]

praying for ou she is just unwell. hugs and we are all here for you!

[Eenee]

It just sucks the way things are at the moment with the insurance and stuff. I'm hoping it's is all fine for you Eutra and she was just sick.

[e_p]

Thanks ladies - so good to be able to get this off my chest and to know that you all understand where I'm coming from. I'm so sick of having to battle just to have a natural, normal birth! I want this baby to be born peacefully, and for me or DH to be the first people to touch the baby. I wholeheartedly support EVERY woman's right to choose whatever birth is right for her but I can't help feeling resentful that if I was hiring a private OB to do an elective c-section life would be so much easier right now.

DH is promising me everything will be ok, and it will - this baby will be born and we'll love it regardless....I just don't want to have to sneak, hide, lie, stress, worry etc etc. I shouldn't have to - what I want to do is safe and in the best interests of me and my baby!

I'm worried for my midwife - even if she is just unwell and is still practicing right now, in this climate is so awful for independent midwives and it must be so overwhelming to be working to support women and every day facing the possibility that it might all end because someone decides to report you for something that doesn't hurt anyone.

Thanks again for all of your support ladies - good luck to those of you with independent midwives and to those still looking for one xxx

[HotI]

Not ready to go into it, but had an appt at the family birth centre today, that totally absolutely made me realise that birthing in hospital, any hospital, even if they sometimes pretend they aren't one is not right for me.

to anyone needing it right now.

[Arcadia]

to you HotI. We're here listening when you need.

[e_p]

Not ready to go into it, but had an appt at the family birth centre today, that totally absolutely made me realise that birthing in hospital, any hospital, even if they sometimes pretend they aren't one is not right for me.

to anyone needing it right now.

Oh HotI - I'm sorry hugs to you!

[PumpkinZulu]

to everyone, especially HotI and E-P...they are tough times we are in at the moment and sadly things only look to get tougher

[Eenee]

hotI

[Jennifer13]

Hope you don't even need to think about the birthing centre or hospital again, Hot1! Do you have a middie?

I haven't set foot in a hospital yet, but I do need to give a booking letter to them in case I need to be transferred. My GP wrote it as per my m/w's instructions (she's a very compliant GP).

[Cassius2]

Not ready to go into it, but had an appt at the family birth centre today, that totally absolutely made me realise that birthing in hospital, any hospital, even if they sometimes pretend they aren't one is not right for me.

to anyone needing it right now.

I hear you loud and clear HotI. I too found that was the case. i checked out the Mercy BC in person (ended up in massive panic attack before i even got back in the car...can you believe that i brought DH and DD1 with me, and she was playing in the kids section with the toys and the midwife told me that they dont like siblings attending appointments and can she please leave as others dont want to be distracted ...i was ready to walk out then and there but DH insisted i stay...wish he didnt it was just awful as they LOCKED him out and he missed it all ...the midwife had the nerve to tell me, that it's not important for him to be there and i could just explain it all later to him anyway..WTF??!!). and then i double dipped and booked into the Box Hill one, which admittedley in the end i didnt bother with as the forms and questions were too similar and clinical and basically had similar policy in being able to 'kick' you out of the program at any time. That's when i finally (at 15 weeks i think) faced the reality that the ONLY option was HB...and boy, what a beautiful, happy discovery it was! it is now the ONLY option because IMHO it is the BEST.

Massive hugs i remember how dark those days of traipsing around looking at those places.... not fun.

[HotI]

Cassius, i am sorry that you went through it too, but you are also a bright light for me knowing that it can be ok again.

[Tegam]

HotI wish i could explain more but please write down the way you are feeling now. I felt like this atleast 15times with Molly, even DH said twice that we were not setting foot into the place again and i still ****ed up and had molly in hospital and that was after a beautiful HB with DS two years before.... the system suxs but it has a horrible way of wearing you down..... promise yourself and stick to your guns! We are all here for you!!!!

[Bella29]

Hi girls,

Well I have come to a decision to stop getting my back up care thru the local public hospital and seek out a private OB for incase of transfer. The last two births I have attended with gf's has been hb transfers and whilst I hope pray and will work towards that not happening to me, if I do transfer I don't want to be in a room with other people or have my husband sent home and away from me when I may well need him the most.

It has taken a lot of thinking thru because I guess most of us know the private OB statistics. That being said I think if I transfer then I will be essentially needing some intervention and or will much more likely to have a c/s anyway. If that happens I just want to know that I would have an OB I know rather than one randomly given to me in the public who may or may not be any good. Now I just have to decide who to go to.

I don't think many ppl on the hb community will understand my decision, but I think that by making the one I can live with I can put it behind me and not keep worrying about it.

Xx Bella

[HotI]

Bella, i wish all women could have birth supports they trust and who respect the woman's rights. For me, their position doesn't play a big part. There are good obs and bad ones, good 'homebirth' midwives and bad ones, good hospital midwives and bad ones. I hope you find birth supports that you are comfortable with, and work for your particular circumstances.

[onthefly]

Bella, I hope you can find an OB to support you as well. It actually sounds like a pretty good idea - just a matter of making it work out in practice.

HotI. Doesn't sound like it's the right place for you to birth at all.

eutra, I hope all is well with your midwife.
It is a really worrying time, even for someone not pregnant right now! I hate that this is happening - the vexatious reporting, the 'persectution' even will only polarise things even more and leaves mums and babies stuck in the middle. A lot of people need to pull their heads in and start acting professionally - ie, in the best interests of mothers and babies.

[Bella29]

Thanks girls, there is an pretty good OB who I backing up a gf of mine who is hbing three weeks before I am. She is only charging her $500 to be on call for in case of transfer which I think is pretty reasonable. I am pretty happy with that to be honest. I just have to get an appointment with her and chat it out. The only difference between me and her is I am a vbac mum and also that my gf hb'd quite easily last time, but had a placenta that needed manual removal and so transferred because of that.

Hot1 - having experienced a BC care for my first baby i can say that the one to one midwifery, was great but all of the policy was dictated by the hospital so it was essentially the same as hospital care. Which in and of itself was really restrictive and crap. I would never use one again for that reason. I am sorry that you had a bad experience tho. Hugs babe. I hope u find the care that you really want.