Thanks ladies - so good to be able to get this off my chest and to know that you all understand where I'm coming from. I'm so sick of having to battle just to have a natural, normal birth! I want this baby to be born peacefully, and for me or DH to be the first people to touch the baby. I wholeheartedly support EVERY woman's right to choose whatever birth is right for her but I can't help feeling resentful that if I was hiring a private OB to do an elective c-section life would be so much easier right now.

DH is promising me everything will be ok, and it will - this baby will be born and we'll love it regardless....I just don't want to have to sneak, hide, lie, stress, worry etc etc. I shouldn't have to - what I want to do is safe and in the best interests of me and my baby!

I'm worried for my midwife - even if she is just unwell and is still practicing right now, in this climate is so awful for independent midwives and it must be so overwhelming to be working to support women and every day facing the possibility that it might all end because someone decides to report you for something that doesn't hurt anyone.

Thanks again for all of your support ladies - good luck to those of you with independent midwives and to those still looking for one xxx