Hi everyone - I haven't checked in for a while! I've been off work now for 2 weeks and have been making the most of the time off to rest, clean, do mountains of laundry etc etc

Have been feeling pre-laboury niggles now on and off for a week (period-like pain, back pain, lots of visits to the bathroom (my poor bum is so sore!), lots of mucous etc etc) and a midwife visit on Wednesday confirmed that bub is left occiput anterior (head down, spine facing out on my left side) with its head wedged deep down in my pelvis. She commented that she thinks our next scheduled visit on Thursday next week might be a post-natal appointment!!

I'm so so excited to meet this baby but also feeling pretty worn down and a little impatient - I joked to DH last night that we should pay the hospital a sneaky visit, get a jab of syntocinon and come home and our midwife would be none the wiser! Heheheh...DH didn't seem to think it was as funny as I did :P

I'm hoping the big weather change coming over tonight might get things happening - I would happily go on for a few more weeks being pregnant but this pre-labour stuff is wearing me down! I wish things would either stop so I can sleep properly, or ramp up and let me meet this baby!

I'm a bit upset today after having a difficult conversation with a girlfriend a few days ago - a few years ago we had talked about being at the birth of each other's babies, and I was there when her two babies were born (6mths and 23mths old). As DH and I planned our HB, for lots of reasons it might not be the best for her to be there - partly because of practical reasons (she's BFing her 6mth old, her and her DH share one car) but also because she isn't very familiar with HB and I wanted everyone at the birth to be on the same page and supporting me 100%. I wasn't sure whether it was a good idea for to be there or not, and ended up asking her if it would be ok to play it by ear at the time and see how I'm feeling as to whether I call her to the birth or not - I had thought the conversation went fine, she thanked me for being honest and said of course that was ok, it was my choice and she supported that etc etc.

Today I woke up to a message from her saying she's really worried that I've planned and prepared too much and that if things don't 'go to plan' I wont be prepared for that, also warning me about the changes to my body after baby and she thinks I wont cope with that. She had a dig at me for 'leaving' Facebook, which I haven't - I still comment regularly on other people's photos and status updates on there, but have chosen not to post status updates etc about the baby for LOTS of reasons but mostly because I have chosen not to tell people at work about my HB plans and want to avoid the inevitable questions/scare tactics, also want to avoid the speculation/pressure from everyone about whether the baby is here yet, and also because my mother (who I do not get along with at all) comments on everything I say and do which annoys/stresses me to no end and I want to avoid all of that.

I'm really torn - on the one hand I can see that my friend is just concerned and probably thinks she's being helpful by preparing me for some possible realities...but I'm also SO ANGRY that she would choose to do this NOW when she KNOWS I've been having early labour signs on and off for days. There's also a good chance she's done some clever googling and has tracked me down on here and may be reading this. Part of me thinks I shouldn't be posting because it will hurt her feelings to see what I've said but I'm also pretty angry and think, well if she sees this and is hurt she needs to deal with that. I love her dearly and want her to be a big part of this baby's life but I feel so undermined right now...I need to reply to her but don't know what to say :/