Oh hotI I am so glad I misunderstood what u said. I was feeling quite sad for u that u didn't have the MW u wanted. Really pleased to hear ur MW is awesome. Hope that massage is just what u need.

Ash I reckon it is completely normal to have fears of some kind. I think it is a rare woman who has none. I don't think that they will impact of your bodies ability to give birth tho. My sister had a small pph at her last home birth. She got good care and was able to stay at home.

Jen I am on my ph and I was gonna respond to u but now can't remember what u said! Sorry love! Hope u are well. oh yeah, that's right! I agree that my c/s has shaped me in many ways. There was a lot of hurt from it for sure. I spent the last post natal period in shock and mourning. But it also fought me to a wonderful place along a road I would never have otherwise travelled. So yeah like u I am grateful in some way

Afm- we are doing well. Loving this little girl! My emotions being so much more positive this time around are making this post natal period so much more focused on just pure joy in my newborn. What a wonderful place to be in! I am so incredibly lucky and happy. The only things that have taken any of the focus away from Maddie are a new fascination with cloth nappies. I haven't properly started using them cos the ones I have that I thought would fit are really bulky and so DH has asked that we wait till my nb lushies and kissaluvs arrive. Other than that I think I may soon find myself posting in the breast feeding support section due to a serious over supply issue. I am rock hard really regularly and am fearful of mastitis if I don't keep expressing. That being said I am scared of setting up a false supply demand that makes it worse.... Anyone had experience of this? Advice appreciated.