Hun, is he harrassing you? Is he still trying to be controlling?

I was 16 when I was with my X, I married him at 18 and by the age of 21 I had two children. I left him when I was 24. He was very violent and very controlling. They rarely change, he always promised not to do it again, but he always did. The lie a lot too.

The only way I could get out of his control was no contact. It took me a long time to implement this because, he wanted me to still 'be there' for him and woulnd't leave me alone. I tolerated it because I thought it was wrong to cut him off because of the kids, but so many people tried to get me away from him. It took a very bad physical altercation after I'd left him for 5 months to convince me to not have anything to do with him. He was desperately trying to regain control of me again and it got very nasty.

I never planned for my life to end up like that. I had been isolated for so long I didn't know how to cope with people, I didn't have a license, car or furniture. I lost all my possessions and I had two children on my own.

Now I'm with a wonderful man and just had another baby. I have a much better life than before and am respected, loved and never feel afraid in my house. I never thought I'd move on, I never thought I would have the confidence to face the world on my own, I never thougth I would get over what happened, but I did. It takes time and it wasn't easy, but it was worth it. If I had stayed, I know I would have ended up dead one way or the other.

It sounds like you have done the right thing and I urge you to try and get away somewhere where you can be left alone and get your head together.

Life does get better, I promise you. You've made a big step and sounds like it was the right and safe one, and that is admirable. Hang in there and vent as much as you want. You can also join the domestic violence forum here if you request it and share your story and gain support from women in your position.