I guess i was very lucky, my xil's live in germany and my parents live in Canberra, I lived in QLD when the kiddies were born, so I did not have much interference from either of them.
When i spoke to them I told them what they needed to know, and they could advice all they wanted living so far away and not visiting often was a bonus. I get on well with both my xil's and my mum, but it was just so much easier not having them butt in and tell me how to live my life and bring up my kids.