In a really strange way I kind of relate! the young mums in our area are about 21ish so you would have fit in nicely. I had the complete opposite issue when I had my baby, I was 28 and the youngest in the group, the next youngest mum was 34 and all the rest were 37 having their first baby. They were all established and wealthy driving around in SUVs, married to CEOs and living in gorgeous 4 bedroom mansions so I found it really hard to relate to them - I probably still would, even though I'm really old now.
I'm so sorry that your mum's group look at you with pity!! It's ridiculous if it was your choice and you are happy about that now. Mum's groups can be a bit hard to deal with at times, at least by the time your kids get to preschool it shouldn't really be an issue anymore for you? I hope you find some great mums whatever their or your age that you can relate to.
I was 19 when I fell pregnant, 20 when I had my baby. Then 23 when I had my second. A lot of people seem to consider me young, but I don't feel young to be a mother. I would have felt young if I had a baby at 15 because then, I definitely would not have been ready for the huge dependance a baby has on you. But at 20, I already had my fun and was comfortable settling down into motherhood.
I think with the young definition it usually comes from people who don't see themselves at x or y age being able to settle down into parenthood and so they can't understand how you can be perfectly happy and capable of doing so. I think "young" in our society is often associated with immaturity, lack of experience or preparedness in the eyes of others who label mothers as being "young".
I was 20 when i fell preg with DS and 21 before i had him, Everyone told me i was crazy and that i had "waisted my life" i find it so insulting that people see having a baby as waisting a life considering many women back "in the day" were married young and had children young but these days women are expected to wait till there mid to late 20's to marry and then start a family by there 30th....
I fell pregnant at 23 and had my baby in may ( turned 24 in july) and my little girl is 14 weeks. I never joined a group with DS but with this pregancy i joined here... I found the women here so much easier to relate to... no one puts you down or treats you any different here because of age.
I started to just block out the stares and comments made and just started telling myself its right for me and thats all that matter.
The main thing is your happy. Hopefully you can meet some women here your age in your area nd start your own mothers group..
I don't think I'm a 'young mum' any more, coz I'm 24, but I fell pg with my first at 17.
I am young to have 3 babies, but I don't even think about it anymore.
I get along with people every age. Alot my age just annoy me coz they are so selfish.
I've never had the experiences you've had though.
I was19 turning 20 when my first DS was born. He wasn't planned so it was a suprise but well worth it in every single way.
I'm 24 now and just had my second baby, he was planned. I'm not sure if I still consider myself a young mum or not.
I'm sorry you've been treated like this. I haven't really experienced it myself either, sorry.
I've had comments come back to me that were said behind my back. That hurt so much.
The comments weren't completely related to me being a younger mum, it was more because I didnt' go to Uni since the person that said it thinks going to University is EVERYTHING and you're basically nothing if you don't go.
I think people that feel the need to state their opinions need to go by the saying "If you can't say something nice, then don't say anything at all"
I hope the rest of your pg is Happy and Healthy. xoxo
Last edited by Jewel; September 6th, 2008 at 03:38 PM.
I'm 19 and i've just found out that i'm pregant. I'm ecstatic!! My Aunt at a family picnic who's also pregant and is due a month or two before me was kind of mean to me the other day. But as i told my partner, yes, i may be 19, but i feel ready to be a mother, and i dont need other people to tell me whether i am or aren't.
i am looking for a group of some kind on the brisbane northside, so if anyone knows of any, could they please tell me?
Reply With Quote
Bookmarks