Is that a good thing or a bad thing that I sound like your parents? LOL
I guess i'm influenced in that I come first from a 4 child family and then a 4 child family with 2 step siblings and then add in a half sibling LOL and that was tough, I mean really tough financially for my Mum and her partner so we did go without a lot, so I totally get that things just arent' that simple and for me, the way we are living now, even with the 4 kids is like royalty LOL. but we were once in your position, 3 children and kinda undecided about a 4th. DH had a lot of the same concerns as you too. Our house works for now, but it isn't huge and honestly it probably will really struggle to accommodate 4 teens. But though reno's aren't on the cards for now, it is in the future because we know that once our first child gets to a certain age, sharing his room with a brother that much younger will suck bigtime. We do have the benefit though of having nearly 1000acres for them to roam as well. So we are working on a 5 yr plan atm. We do have a second vehicle - DH has a camry for work and will upgrade to a Rodeo extra cab. We don't plan on having a second vehicle that can accommodate us all as we just don't need a second car that will fit us all in. But we are happy to run two vehicles to the one destination if we have to, but it's not been an issue in the past two years though.
I would be lying if I said it wasnt' ever a struggle financially, but we are very careful with our money and we stick to a strict budget so it works for us. We only live on 75% of DH's income, at times even less as we have a unique situation where we have to top up the farm's finances with DH's off-farm income so from time to time we have sacrifice to keep the farm running.
It took us 12 months to decide to have a 4th baby and in the end it came down to not living with regrets. I didn't want to be a women who pined away for the child she never had, and we vowed that we would make it work and we haven't regretted it for a moment.a
I'm in a slightly different situation with my four, as there are large gaps in their ages and the oldest has now left home, but I just want to say that if you are even considering another, then maybe it's just meant to be I want another bub, but it is a big decision. I try and talk myself out if it, but I just won't be swayed, LOL. Hmmm, now to talk DH into it. hehehe
Thanks Arimeh for posting this question. I have been reading with interest.
Curly your comments and situation are very close to mine. Practically, physically and emotionally stopping at 3 is our best bet. However that ghost of number 4 is firmly with me.
Anyhow I've just joined the "No more babies club" and by jingles I'm finding it hard atm.
Maz, your last post is so true, we all just try and do better than our parents did and give our kids better circumstances than we had. This is the reason we ust have the one essentially. Tere are times when I get a bit clucky, but all it takes is the tiniest bit of bad behaviour from DS to remind me I am not cut out for more kids. For me, I want to be able to give him plenty of my time and sttention and plenty of life experiences that I would have benefitted from growing up. We want to take DS travelling and see the world together, we cant do that with lots of kids. THee are many reasons of course, but essentially, I want DS to have the things/experience that I missed out on.
Who knows, probably if I were from an only child family I would have wanted 10 kids!
Hi girls - I've just read this thread with interest too! I have just given birth a month ago to my number 4, actually really no. 5, as I lost a little baby boy in 2007. So, 4 living at home - 12 year old, 10 year old, 16 month old and newborn. I have to say at the moment I feel the absolutely most stretched I've ever felt in my life - I run from the minute I'm up to when I go to bed. It's FULL ON - but I know it will get easier. The most challenging bit of having 4 is managing the needs of the older two with the two little ones to think about (and drag around). I think what one lady said about building your own village (whether that be family or others) is paramount - it's something I have not yet done, but I WILL try, as I really feel like I could do with some support. What I have realised is that I really have to get everything back to the bare basics - i.e. time spent with my kids, ensuring they have a healthy meal at night, clean clothes and a story read to them - these things are my daily achievements - the tax return might take another 3 months to finish, the baby album print-out might have to wait another 2 years - the garden is going to get full of weeds, the car is going to be dirty - but you have to learn to let go of things that you just don't have time for. Eventually your time will start to return - but for me, it's going to be a while - and I don't want to be stuck in a frustrated space about that - let it go, and enjoy your kids while you have them. This sounds like a lecture to myself!!! It kind of is - but just adding my 2 bob's worth! I have realised how easy one or two kids are! But having 4 is a lovely form of chaos!!! Good luck with all your decisions! Lee x
and for me, the way we are living now, even with the 4 kids is like royalty LOL. but we were once in your position, 3 children and kinda undecided about a 4th. DH had a lot of the same concerns as you too. Our house works for now, but it isn't huge and honestly it probably will really struggle to accommodate 4 teens. But though reno's aren't on the cards for now, it is in the future because we know that once our first child gets to a certain age, sharing his room with a brother that much younger will suck bigtime. We do have the benefit though of having nearly 1000acres for them to roam as well. So we are working on a 5 yr plan atm. We do have a second vehicle - DH has a camry for work and will upgrade to a Rodeo extra cab. We don't plan on having a second vehicle that can accommodate us all as we just don't need a second car that will fit us all in. But we are happy to run two vehicles to the one destination if we have to, but it's not been an issue in the past two years though.
Reply With Quote
Bookmarks