Thanks guys for your comments!
DH family probably wont come into the hospital as they are not that close and unfortunatly hate DSS mum so would be best if they didnt see each other.
Spoke with my sister who offered to pick him up (she has met DSS mum and they are OK with each other) But i am concerned that she is just trying to please me - she will be at the birth and i dont want her to exhaust herself...

Had a chat with DH and he is totally in support of me and my opinions which i was relieved with - talking about it more, i realised that there may be visiting hours that everyone may have to leave for - that way DH can go and get DSS and not have to face the issue.

Jodie - the idea of doing a 'drive by' works with me... also thought that we would send DSS home with loads of pics so he could show off his brother/sister. She is a big part of his life and i do understand that - but i just dont want her to be part of my child/rens lives.