Vicky ... hugs to you at what must be a really stressful time.

I completely understand how you feel. Em & Jack are from my first marriage and obviously Asha from my second. We have had some issues in the past of them being "my" kids and not Ryan's. I feel the same about my step DD's. I have met them once and they certainly are Ryan's girls. Don't get me wrong I love them but I have had so very little to do with them that I don't know them.

As for my two, we have had some issues along the way, in particular one when we were on holidays in Qld with Sian & Bree. The kids were jumping on the beds and we told them to stop. One of them kept going and Ryan assumed it was Jack (and normally it would have been) so he yelled at him. WHen it was discovered to be Bree he stopped yelling, didn't apologise to Jack and was all lovey doevy to Bree ... I let rip ... told him to make sure he got things straight in his head and that he can't treat the kids differently. He got the message and even though we haven't seen the girls since I am sure he wouldn't make that mistake again.

Em & Jack talk about Ryan as "Dad" but Jack still calls him Ryan most of the time. They still see their Dad every holidays but then it is all fun and good times!! Ryan is the one who helps hold us together and helps with the day to day decisions about our family.

Vicky ... I would be sitting down with your DH and finding out right now about how he feels this baby is going to change things and then make it clear about what you want this baby to mean. I made sure Ryan knew that this baby (Asha) was joining both of our families together and that there were to be under no circumstances any preferential treatment of anyone!!!

Wow I don't know if any of that made sense to you or if I just repeated myself ... but whatever you do needs to be done before the baby arrives. Including making sure that your older two kids understand they won't be loved any differently or any less. Get it straight now and there will be less stress once the baby has arrived.

Best wishes with everything!

Cheers