Hi I left my x when I was pregnant with Emily and got together with my DH when Emily was 18 months and Jess was 31/2. We did have a few issues to begin with...but were able to work through them.

I was and still am largely the sole disciplinarian. I did not want a male figure coming into our established family and doling out punishments. That did not feel right. What helped the kids to bond..and it really was more Jess than Em due to her age was that Darren would spend special time with them. He made up this game called crockodiles and they played in on the tramp..silly things like that that was special to them.

When Olivia was born we started saying Daddy and both Jess and Em started using it too. The girls still see their birth dad but probably once every few months. We use the term birth dad too..i dont like the real dad thing that gets floated around. I think a real dad is the one that is there for them on a regular basis doing the daily things that go into making a family.

I think its natural for your dd to be testing her limits with your new partner. We went through the same sorts of things with Jess...but we explained that that hurts Darrens feelings and talked about what is acceptable and what isnt acceptable behaviour. We were very gentle in our approach assuming that with time and patience it would all click together and it did. I wish you all the best with your new family.

Jo