I made a new email account and only told my MIL about it...every now and again I check it just to have a giggle at the amount of rubbish emails it contains
omg i cracked up when i read this!

in my opinion -

emails - id bring the issue up and make a joke of it - are you able to do that with her?

the advice re: babies - yeah youre always going to get that one, im getting it also, i just go yeah alright and nod - only you will figure out whats best for your babies

the mum thing - OMG my mil does this too, she is also an arm/leg stroker.... that gives me the creeps - im too chicken to say anything about it though i must admit (plus it dosent really bother me as we dont see her much) she is an overly sensitive woman, though i do pull away a fair bit and she has backed off with the touching.. again *I* would make a joke of it and say something like "oh i didnt know you gave birth to me! eww that means im having babies with my brother"!

as you can see i take the joke way to confront people.. it usually works for me