how to say they are not invited

[hj1981]

i do want other kids! and other kids are invited.

[Bengal]

so are you all saying that you would just invite the rest of your family along without even clarifyng if they are invited or not?

And although we have said that there is no need to bring a gift, she is the only one that has stated she will not be bringing a gift because they can't afford too (fair enough) but than again to invite your whole family for free feed and drink!!!! surely that can't be right! once again i would never do such a thing! but maybe i have just been brought up differently!

I think it's tight she has specifically stated she isn't bringing a gift. Even a bunch of pretty balloons that her kids decorated would surfice. We all know, it's the thought that matters.

[*LittleMissSummer*]

so everyone on here would ASSUME and NOT ask??? is that correct?

I don't understand why you are getting so heated over this... Yes i would assume my partner and DD were invited if i got an invitation for a birthday party. If a friend turned around and said no it was just me who was invited then i would decline the invitation and more than likely not speak to them again.

I had people at my DD's birthday party who's kid/s had never met my DD before but thats how kids get to know each other...

[hj1981]

Then perhaps make it a verbal invitation so everyone invited understand what you want.

and how would a verbal invitation be any different to a written invitation with only one name on it?

[hj1981]

im not at all getting heated over this, im just simply asking questions.

I can not believe that i am the only one with decency to clarify instead of just assuming!

Like i said if she had of asked i would never of said no they are not invited, but because she hasn't asked and is just bringing them along i find that rude!

[hj1981]

I think it's tight she has specifically stated she isn't bringing a gift. Even a bunch of pretty balloons that her kids decorated would surfice. We all know, it's the thought that matters.

I think so too Bengal, but than we did say no need to buy a gift and that is completely fair enough so i am completely and totally okay with that

[MummaBee]

Maybe best if you just tell it to her straight then, if you really dont want her extras there and it upsets you you should speak from the heart. There's nothing worse than feeling your invited somewhere and everyone treats you like you shouldn't of bought your family when you get their. Im sure she doesnt think shes doing anything wrong and isnt if you dont explain the way you feel. I dont see any EASY way to do it.

[delphmoon]

so everyone on here would ASSUME and NOT ask??? is that correct?

Sorry Hun but I'm with everyone else. I wouldn't so much 'assume' the invite includes kids, it would be more common sense that tells me that being a kids bday and all. If the invite was for example for someones 21st I would clarify if the kida could cone but I would assume my DH was invited.
As for how to uninvited the family without being rude.... I don't think u can because it's rude anywAy. Sorry


Sent from my iPhone

[*LittleMissSummer*]

and how would a verbal invitation be any different to a written invitation with only one name on it?

Uh, you could say "hey would you like to come to my daughters birthday party? but i am just having a small do so if its ok with you i'd just like you to come along as you are the most closest to my daughter" that way you can talk it over with her. On a piece of paper there isnt any of that. You don't see what her reaction is, if she isn't happy with her family not being invited or depending on the wording may not even get that its just HER that is invited.

[Bengal]

so everyone on here would ASSUME and NOT ask??? is that correct?

If I rcvd an invite to a 1 year old party that didn't have Jack, Jill and family or jack, Jill and bill and Ben on it, I would text and clarify was it an oversight leaving my kids name off it, and if I was advised it was just for me, I would say, thanks for the invite, I cannot attend .

I don't know the other friends from a bar of soap, I would wonder if they are thinking one thing and saying another . Just my opinion

It's your little girls first birthday and it's it's your choice

[hj1981]

they would never be made to feel as if they weren't welcome, we are not at all like that!

I guess maybe i should change the title of this thread to "Do you think this is rude" or something like that instead!

and obviously everyone on here does not think it is rude or wrong to assume that people not on the invite is invited to something!

so i thank you for your responses! no hard feelings and i hope no one thinks lowly of me because of this!

I just would never bring others not on an invite to an event without clarifying first! to me its just rude to assume

[hj1981]

Uh, you could say "hey would you like to come to my daughters birthday party? but i am just having a small do so if its ok with you i'd just like you to come along as you are the most closest to my daughter" that way you can talk it over with her. On a piece of paper there isnt any of that. You don't see what her reaction is, if she isn't happy with her family not being invited or depending on the wording may not even get that its just HER that is invited.

well when i was chatting to them at uni, when i said there was no need to bring a gift........... i said.......... "also there is no need to bring a gift, i just couldn't have her first birthday without you all there as you were all there for me throughout the pregnancy, than came and saw me in hospital afterwards, so i felt it would be nice to have you all there for her 1st birthday"

none of the partners or other children came to the hospital

[KitFaerie]

I'm with the others, if someone told me not to bring my family, I wouldn't go, and I would question the friendship. I would double check that an invitation addressed to me included my DH and DS, but I'd hope that it was a mistake.

[lilima]

For a kids party durin the day I would assume my whole family was invited, in fact it would be a little strange if they weren't!

Different if it was a night event for a 21st etc

[Jellyfish]

If I was invited to a birthday party for a child, I would assume it was a family event and especially think my children were included. I went to a highschool friend's child's birthday party and took my DD even though she had never even met the birthday boy or his Mum as it had actually been a while since we had caught up, I'd never even met the birthday boy (was his 3rd birthday party, DD was around 16months) :shrug: it was a birthday party for a child at a park... would have felt a bit odd leaving my girl at home to go hang out with other people's children? Her name wasn't specifically on the invite as it was sent through Facebook but as she was aware I had a daughter, I thought that it was the normal thing for me to bring her along... eek! Luckily DD was very welcome I guess, wouldn't have crossed my mind to clarify hmm, I dunno.

I'd find it a bit off if my DD was excluded from an event like this and wouldn't attend if she couldn't. Fair enough if it was a wedding or engagement party or something 'adult' related and more formal, I'd be claryfing if my partner was invited if he wasn't mentioned and probably assume child-free if DD was left off the invite but for a Child's party, that seems family-friendly to me.

[SunnyRain]

I think it's the context of the party being a child's birthday party the general assumption is that it's a family affair, regardless of how well the kids know each other.

I've been to lots of kids birthday parties and kids of all ages and partners are always invited. In your uni friend's experience, I'm sure that is what she has always encountered, she is the one with older kids, I'm sure she's been to quite a few kids parties in her time.

I don't think she's being rude, although it was a bit weird to announce she wasn't bringing a gift.

[hj1981]

I'm with the others, if someone told me not to bring my family, I wouldn't go, and I would question the friendship. I would double check that an invitation addressed to me included my DH and DS, but I'd hope that it was a mistake.

i didn't tell her not to bring them, i just didn't put them on the invite!

[hj1981]

I think it's the context of the party being a child's birthday party the general assumption is that it's a family affair, regardless of how well the kids know each other.

I've been to lots of kids birthday parties and kids of all ages and partners are always invited. In your uni friend's experience, I'm sure that is what she has always encountered, she is the one with older kids, I'm sure she's been to quite a few kids parties in her time.

I don't think she's being rude, although it was a bit weird to announce she wasn't bringing a gift.

Thank you = that does make sense!