Not exactly the same situation, but when my dd1 was born she needed surgery at 48hrs old. We were told it probably wouldn't save her do get everyone we wanted to say goodbye to the nicu, DH and I were already there, and my mum was the only one who could make it in time before they took her to theatre.....my mum,dad and sister and mil all wanted to come and wait for her to come out, but I was waaaay too overwhelmed and emotional, I only wanted DH. They were good about it and waited til she was out of recovery and back to nicu, by then it was 9pm, so they came up first thing the next morning as she was relatively stable.

I guess everyone reacts differently, and you don't know how you will until in that situation. I thoyght I'd want everyone around me, but emotionally I just couldnt handle other people being upset as it took all my energy to keep myself together